Chalk is fun!

Happy thanksgiving!!!

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Storytime!!!

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The DQ2.0 in Haiti!

Day 3-4: The Really Young and The Restless

Now, things are starting to set in.  We're getting our grove on.  We're cooking with gas.  We're ... oh, you get the picture.

Everything was moving and groving... until last night. 

Then the wheels came off.

Everyone was sound asleep by 8pm.  It seemed to be another gorgeous evening in the GM.  But then specks of lightning could be seen in the distance.  A low rumble of thunder.... 

Times were a changin

First, it was Mila who awoke... not sure what time.  She would occasionally wake and cough and then go back down.  But she was up now and needed plugging.  She went down.

Then there was weird thumping noises every so often.  I though it might be the ghost of Mr Schwartz.  But then I turned on the video monitor.  Somehow the Pizz kept tossing and turning, and rolling herself into the wall.

**thump**

**thump**

**thump**

**THUMP**

Alright!  I'm up.  I look at the clock... 11pm.  Great.  I go into the Pizz' room and start to shuffle her back into position.  She was a sack of potatoes.  Finally I get her in and tuckytuckied in.  She's done.

I get back into bed.

** the thunder rolls....***

Ham starts whinning.  More thunder.  Ham starts barking.

Oh, you can't be serious.  Ham, be quiet.  Nothing.  I get up and pull his bed closer.  I start petting him.  More lightning and thunder... louder doggie yelps!

Ok, I'm up!!!  I go downstairs and begin to look for the ativan.  Not for me, but for the dog.  (although I could try some too)  I find some and give it to him.  Now to last through the 15-20min it takes to set in. 

We go back upstairs, and I climb back into bed.  Whew!  Then, more more thunder!!!  More more puppy yelps!  Oh for the love of pete!!!

Finally we get to sleep...

**distant whines**  What now!?!?!?  I look at the clock... 2am... argh...  *** eh eh eh ... uh uh uh ... waaaa!!!***

Ok, I'm up!!!  I paddle down the hall, and fine the Cokes awake and grunting.  Fortunately it is only about finding his paci and pluggin him...  This is tough to do in the dark and under duress... but it finally happened. 

Ahhh... back to bed....

***beep beep beep*** 

5am time to get up!!!!

Day 2: As the Potty Flushes...

So today started off at 5am.  Yes 5am.

The Twizz have started the winter season with some upper respiratory crud.  So all last night, the Mims was coughing and hacking.  Supposedly... I slept through most of it.  She didn't cry for long; I would have awoken for that.

I got the Pizz up for school... dry panties!  yeah!  And then we did our business!

The day was fine for all around.  The Editor went to work and didn't kill anyone... hooray!  The Twizz were good for Ita and then Merle.  The Pizz had one poops accident at school, but no poops on the potty.

I picked up the Pizz and learned of her potty for the day.  "I didn't pee pee on my striped panties!"  She was so proud.  "Good Girl!"

Then on the ride home...

"Kemper, did you poops on the Potty?"
"No Daddy"
"Why not?"
"It hurts when I push Daddy"
"Oh.  Really?  Why?"  (This is not good... no she's going to be constipated forever...)
"I have an owie on my leg"
"Oh"
...
"Daddy?"
"Mila no go poops on the potty"
"Why, yes Kemper.  She's too small.  She can't sit on the potty, and has to use the diaper."
"Oh..."
...
"Daddy?"
"Yes, babygirl."
"I'm a small girl too.  Can I have a diaper?"
"... uh... Well no, babygirl, you're a big girl.  You have big girl Dora panties!"
"No Daddy.  I'm a small girl.  I don't want to poops on the potty"
...
Uh - oh.  She is really going to wear diapers forever...  This is never never going to work.


Then we got home and talked to the family.  The Editor then got Moe's for dinner....  Ita and Wowo ate rrrritos too!

Soon, it was time for the Pizz to take a bath.  Seems now she is starting to develop attachment issues, and only wanted her daddy to wash her.  Of course, I would oblige! 

So we sat on the potty for our obligatory pre-bath session.  There we were, reading the crab book.  I see the anticipatory glance from the Pizz.  The eyes glaze over...  Yup, here comes some peepee...  I wait.  Nothing.  I look at her, she's back at reading....  I wait some more....

ker-splash!...

What?!?!?!?!  I look at the Pizz... she smiles slyly.  I look in the bowl and see a small poopie floating in it!  "YOU DID IT!!!"  I was sooo excited, I startled the dog.  The Pizz was happy... "yes Daddy.. I poops"...  She goes back to reading....

ker-splash! 

What!?!?!?  More poops!!??!?!  Sure enough, now there were two poopies floating in the bowl...  I could hardly contain my excitement.  Could we have turned the corner on training?  Did Einstein finally learn to poops?

"All done"  She says. 

Oh, no babygirl, we are only just beginning....

(Editor's Note: sorry for the relatively gross/vulgar topic for today.  I didn't necessarily mean to talk poops today.  Just... wow!!!)

We'll just wait here for Mommy!

Good Morning Mommy!

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Another Adventure in the BY Universe

Begins today...

Today was Day #1 of the DQ2.0's return trip to Haiti.

Yup.  As of 7am eastern standard time, the DQ2.0 was starting her first (of many) leg of her trip to the mountain region of Haiti.  (Editor's Note: she is much nobler than I... but I will note for the record that I had planned on going once...)

Anyway, the Editor is left to forage for himself, with three kizzles in diapers...  er... make that 2 kizzles in diapers and 1 in transition to panty-hood.

Yes, what a saint that Editor is.  A true husband and father.  Never mind the fact that he had to import his parents (the aforementioned Ita and Wowo) with bribes of grandchildren.  Never mind that he has Merle to assist.  That Editor is a super-stud.

Well, if I do say so myself. 

The day went pretty well, from my view.  I took the Pizz to daycare as usual, in her panties, with like 8 changes of clothes.  I left the Twizz to the charge of Ita and Merle.... Wowo was backup.

After work, I brought the Pizz home.  The Twizz were sleepy and went down like champs.... for now.  Then the BY Universe sat down for a fine feast of Meatloaf!!!

(Editor's Note:  Nothing is as tasty as mom's meatloaf.  This is truly one of the staples of my childhood.  I can see the roasted potatoes and veggies now.  Yum yum.  Of course, the recipe has changed to ground turkey instead of gound meat, but still good)

I was soooo excited.  I even tried to get the Pizzle excited about it too.  I figured, since she loves PB&J and is totally her daddy, that meatload would be a snap.  I forgot the other trait that is like her daddy... that of the visual eating.  (Basically if she doesn't like how it looks, she won't open her mouth)  Seems today she didn't like veggies.

Alas.  But all was not lost, that just meant more more meatloaf for daddy!

After a rousing time in the bath with Ita, and some bongos with Wowo, the Pizz was sacked out.

Day #1 Complete.

PS: Potty notes:  multiple times of teetee in the toilet.  2 poopoo accidents, without a shot/deposit in the can.

"We're ready to go to Haiti, Mommy!!!!"

Pottytime Weekend!

Well, we finally ripped the bandaid off Toilet Training the Pizz.

Seems for the last 3 weeks or so, we been getting the **hint-hint** from daycare to start training the Pizz.  "She's sooo smart"  "Her diapers are always dry"  "She tells us when she has to go"  But we couldn't schedule it...


Until this past weekend...

Whew!  What an endeavor. 

Essentially, we had to sign a contract with the daycare on how to do it.  They wanted us to put her in Big-Girl-Panties, with an outer waterproof underwear, and take her to the potty every 30 minutes.  Then extend to 45min and then an hour...  An so went our weekend! 

Here are the highlights:

1. The first day was smooth sailing... well if you realize that you're tethered to your toilet all day.  Pizz did well.  Almost made it the whole day without a mishap.  Then it happened...  Once around 4:30pm and then again at dinner... Tee-tee.  Alas.  Even Einstein wasn't perfect.

2. Those outer waterproof diapers are hilarious.  They look like 8 sizes to big, and make loud crinkle-crinkle noises everywhere she goes.  Huge.  Definitely unladylike.

3. But they hold a large ton of tee-tee.  I took the Pizz upstairs to change her, and when I pulled down the outerwear... **whoosh!** tee-tee everywhere... soaked the changing table straight through....  Wow!!!

4. No Poops for day 1.  I think this course of training will either: A) eventually win out or B) cause her some serious constipation.  We even toyed with prune juice, but decided against that idea.

5.  Halfway through Saturday, I tried baiting her with chocolate to get some poops.  It was still there until mid-Sunday afternoon.  Alas...

6.  Early Saturday PM, Pizz got tired of the toilet.  She tried to jump off it once, and thankfully landed in my lap.  Could have been bad.  After she took the flying jump, I started having second thoughts about this idea.

7. Overnight, she did great.  No Tee-Tee esplosions!

8. We had to break the contract to go to church (we couldn't make those poor churchgoing folks suffer the issues with waterproof crinkle pants).  We put her in an evil diaper.  It was then she esploded with monster poops.  DQ2.0 and I think that she was saving it up, and as soon as we left her, esploded in her diapers...  So much for my theory #4.

9. We brought in an egg timer for Day #2 to keep us on schedule.  It was sort of creepy at first, to hear the "tick-tick-ticking" constantly.  I even felt a fear of the toilet.  I had to move it out into the hall way.

10. Ding ding ding... Time for potty!

11. As of Sunday PM, we had no poops.  There was maybe a little start of something, but it turtled back inside, never to be seen again.

12. I don't think the Pizz will ever poop in the potty. I mean... is it really that bad. Adults have undergarments too. Why can't we just have her where depends... I'll ask pampers to see if they make a Size 15.

13.  I gave up on the chocolate treat idea.... I kept eating parts of it, and after a couple of hours, it was all gone.

14.  Fortunately, she never peed in the car either.  That might get too much.

15.  I can't wait until the Twizz have to be trained.  Whoooopeee!!!!

Laundry time with the Twizzles

We're Becoming Our Parents...

Reason Number 52 and 53...

So we have just completed another installment of how we're turning into our parents....

Somehow this began innocently enough, with a phone call from the Church.  We needed to have our picture taken for the Church Directory.  Since we go like twice a year, the directory must be right... claimed the DQ2.0

So she signed us up for a photo shoot.  That was today.

The DQ2.0 dresses us all up in our "Sunday Best" and we cruse over in the Santa Maria to church for our photo shoot.

We walk in...

There is our photographer... Man it's a professional shoot.  Replete with the props and cheesy marblized backgrounds...  I look down at the packaging...

It's Olin Mills....

Then it all came back to me...  I can still see the old photos now..... Ita and Wowo all young and happy... Tia and the Editor totally dapper and cute.  I just searched my house, in vain, for this photo that is burned into my retina.  (ergo Reason #52)

All "Olin Mills"

Oh yes... Many of you probably know and can remember back in your glory years....


I mouthed to DQ2.0 "O-LIN MILLLLS"...  She's like, what?  OH!

It was too late.  Next thing we know, we're creening and contorting our bodies into shapes that just aren't humane.  'Arch your back... now turn your head to the right, but crack your neck back to the left..."

Meanwhile, the Twizz just didn't want to assist.  The Pizz was totally hamming it up for the camera... replete with her sparkle shoes!  Cokes kept burping up lunch, which was some unholy combo of formula, broccoli, onions and cauliflower.  Mims was stone cold straight faced...  Did not crack even a sly smile... and the photodude was surely trying.

Finally it was all over.

After this we were stuck with the "checkoutlady" trying to sell us a "package"  She kept talking and talking, while the Pizz was running around the room and Twizz began to shriek.  I bought something just to get us out of there...

Then, since we were all nice and fancy, I decided to go out for a "fancy dinner" on the water.  So we went to the Pilot House, on the river.  At 5pm... When it opened.... 

I mean who really goes to a restaurant when it opens...  oh no!!!  (Reason #53...)

So we had our pick of seats and ordered something that sounded good.  Then we stared.  The food came out (and we promptly asked for the check) and we ate.  Then we started criticizing our food.  (I have never done this before...)  Truth be told, neither have my parents... but DQ and I did.  My "Lousiana spicy shrimp" was definitely not Louisiana... unless you count unloading a bottle of Tobasco sauce.  The DQ's fish was bland.  The Pizz lover her cheeseburger...  Then I harked back to the days of getting dressed up with the fam and going out to a nice restaurant (here I would insert  Steak-n-Ale) and eating so-so food.  Then having to leave early and go home.

Oh God!  I am like my parents...

(Editor's Note: Fortunately this evening did not require us having to force the Pizz to eat.  A long time ago, I was forced to try "Angels on Horseback".  I knew even before trying this ghastly thing that I did not like it.  But Ita and Wowo had to prove a point to the young Editor.  I was forced to eat it... but promptly threw it back up on my plate... HA!  I showed them!  Fortunately this didn't happen tonight... But I am starting to see this developing with Cokes and his Broccoli!!!)


Photos to follow... when "the package" arrives in the mail!

Hey, that's mine!!!

Happy Belated Halloween

Further Proof that We're Crazy MoFos

Yup.  We took the whole crew to the Biltmore.  Yup

Daddy Daycare... the Extended Edition

So, maybe y'all read the tweets to the left side of the page.

Maybe, you didn't... it is a new feature to the blog ...

So, to update you all on the comings and goings of the Universe, this past Saturday was an extended version of Daddy Daycare...

Yes, you read that correctly..  The Editor mano a mano a mano versus the Pizz, the Cokes, and the Deala.

What was I thinking?  The DQ2.0 did it before, and now it was my turn.  "I can do it!"

I had it all planned out...  I would split the day into stages... Completing each stage was the primary task.  This way the day could be shortened into manageable segments.

Segment 1: Dawn!

This one was the tough one.  This basically was when all the Kizzles were up and active, from about 530-600 until the gym opened at 8.  The gym has Sat AM daycare, and we have to take advantage.  Plus, the DQ2.0 trucked all 3 there last weekend, so I had to show that I was a man.

So the Twizz awoke first.  DQ2.0 helped me get them up and fed and then she was gone... awoosh!  Just me and the Twizz.  The Pizz then awoke and wanted her yogurt/milk/cerealinacup.  This got me to about 630.

Then I took the Kizz up to the Nursery 2.0, where I tried to manage all the BabyYarnoz's.  Hmmm.  This was fairly chaotic.  The Pizz swiped a pillow from the Deala's back, and she fell backwards.... crying...  Alas.  The Cokes was just sitting, cooing at something, drooling over something else... Then he started whining and rubbing his eyes....

Ding ding ding.... Nap time!  Hmmm... 730... This could really cut into the plans of the gym.  But I never look a nap-horse in the mouth.  Cokes was swiped up and placed in the crib.  Deala fussed some more and then found herself in the crib too..

Now I was one-on-one with the Pizz.  She knew it.  She cackled and ran out the door...  I, of course, dutifully had to chase.

So then an hour passed playing legos and reading books, and then the Twizz awoke.  But now everyone was hungry and pissy.  Hmmm.. my segments had already broken down, and I was screwed...  What to do!?!?  I used a lifeline and texted the DQ2.0, who suggested I scoop up the Kizz, make some formula and go to the gym.

So that it what I did.  I made formula, packed up a bag, loaded up the Kizz, and ... 9am I was pulling out of the GM, in the Santa Maria.... proud of making it....

Segment 2: The Gym

Crusing to the gym is so liberating...  especially on toasty buns!  Nice... sooooo love this feature of the Santa Maria.  We pull into the parking lot.  I hop out, buns a toasty!, and open up the back doors.....

Um...  where's the diaper bag?  I ask the Pizz...  "I dunno"

uh oh!  Where did it go?  I visualize... in my haste I left it in the kitchen!  Crap!  One thing I totally can't do is drop off the Kizzles without bootie protection backup!  Son of a !!!!

I hop back in the Santa Maria and speed off.... not even the toasty buns can make me feel better....  I get home, grab the bad, and speed back to the gym.

Still had time to spare ( the daycare closes at noon).  I get out in the parking lot, which unfortunately is full, and load up the Twizz.  I grab the Pizz and we start walking....  Man she is slooooow.  I couldn't carry her and maneuver the limo, so she had to walk.  And did she make me pay...  Took 10 minutes to get in.

I open the door, and we must have been a sight... everyone turns and looks... but no one helps.  I have to struggle with the limo and the Pizz... get out my gym card, and then push the stroller through the handicap section...  I finally make it to the darcare and start unloading.... The lady there recognizes the Kizzles...  "Where is your wife?"  "She's working.  She can do this by herself... so can I!"  "uh huh" says the lady, almost disapproving.

"Oh, we have a new ability to change diapers here now.  So just check..."  Faster then she could spit out the rest of her phrase, I had grabbed the pen, and scratched yes in huge block letters, bold and underlined, next to all 3 names.  Please please please change them!

My gym session was totally unexciting.  I was afraid of getting pulled out the whole time, so I didn't want to be in the middle of doing some 300lb bench pyramids... you now, serious getting buff stuff...  so I walked on the treadmill.  Man, I am out of shape.

I finally finish, and then go to grab the Kizz.  They were so happy in the daycare... Deala bouncing in one of those walker things, Cokes macking on some chickies, and the Pizz coloring.  No one wanted to leave.

This unfortunately led to me grabbing all of them in a huff and forcing out the door.  Leaving the gym was as much of a production as coming.  Pizz insisted on being carried, which really made driving the limo that much harder.  This time, however, 3 separate ladies asked me if I needed help...  "No thanks.  My wife can do this by herself!  So can I!!!"

Segment 3: Lunch/Naptimes!

We made it home, and the Twizz were exhausted.  Frankly I was too, but I could see I wasn't going to be able to run a trifecta.  I put the Twizz down to nap 2, and then start to work on the Pizz.  She was hungry, and it was sort of near lunchtime, so I busted out some PB and J.  Next to Pizza, this is probably her most favorite food.  I can't say that I blame her.... pretty much everytime I make one for her I get one too.

Finally she gets tired and goes down for a nap.

Whew.  Then the Twizz wake back up and want food.  Let me tell you, when you put Cokes in his highchair and place the bib, you better have the food in your other hand... if not, he releases the hounds of war!

By this point, I was fairly tired, sweaty and stinky.  I didn't care...  I just waited for Mommy to arrive.... 

and then she did...

Halloween recap...

Well, it definitely was a scary night in the GM!

Yesterday started off cute enough... we ferried the Pizz off to daycare and left the Twizz with Merle.  The plan was then to try to make it to daycare for the 3pm "parade".  Then off to a friends house for play date trick-or-treating.

Pizz was supposed to be a princess, with sparkle shoes...

That was the plan.

Well, the DQ2.0 and I made it late to daycare... missing the "parade".  Oops.  So we lug the Twizz (in their costumes too) in to daycare.  It was a parent fiesta!  We make it into Pizz' room and it was spooky quiet.  All the kids were sitting around the table stuffing food in their mouths.  The parents stood around.  It was sort of awkward, since nobody really knew anyone (except the teachers).  We all just sat and watched.

The Pizz, on the other hand, shovelled food.  Her plate consisted of a cupcake with some orange icing (the rest was smeared all over her dress), oreos, teddy grahams, chips, 2 grapes, and cheetos.  She looks up at us, with a orange smeared grin, holds up a cheeto and says "Mommy .. Daddy... Look Cheetos!  I like cheetos!!!"  We were in deep trouble.

30 minutes later, the Pizz was the last to leave the table.  We pinned her down and smeared off the icing and orange cheeto grime, said our goodbyes and made for the Santa Maria.  We get outside and then ***rumble rumble***  ... thunder... rain!


Poops.  No trick-or-treating.

We make it to the Santa Maria and pile in.  On the drive home, we plan our next step.  During our awkward convo with the other parents, we learned of indoor trick-or-treating at the mall.  Perfect!  But the Twizzles were starting to expire and we had to get home.

We pull in to the GM and pile out, trooping upstairs to the nursery 2.0.  We start changing the Twizz, while getting ready for the next phase.  Then,  ... ***ka-blammooo***  the Pizz erupts.

She was a whirling dirvish... running everywhere... up the hall ... back down the hall... in her room... out of her room... screaming... "MilaCocoPottyCheetosDaddyMommyMerleCheetos"  We tried to get her to settle down.  She got 3 Timeouts in a 5 minute span.  Her head was spinning around like the girl from The Exorcist.  No wonder the teachers smiled slyly when we left.  It was a pure spasm of sugar rush.  She could not be controlled...  They was nothing humanly possible.  This also spun off to the Twizz.  Mila decided to start hacking up her lung and Coco realized that he just wasn't full enough, and wanted more more food.  There was screaming galore! 

The details after this are pretty sketchy.  I don't remember much.  Pizz got hosed down in the bathtub and shipped off to bed.  Mila did not hack out her lung (not for a lack of trying or at least demonstrating it) and went to sleep.  Cokes ate some more, and then promptly puked  (Editor's Note:  seems Cokes (trying out a new Coco nickname) really eats like a dog until he essentially explodes... not nice)

Then DQ and I were crashed out on the couch with beers in hands. 

Happy Halloween!

(pics coming... check back soon...)