Lessons learned as a mother of twins: Week 1

when your boss has the record of correctly predicting the birthday of your first child, pay attention to when he schedules the start of your maternity leave for subsequent children

always be prepared.  you never know when your platelets just won’t come through for you.

never underestimate the importance of a friendly face in the operating room, even if it’s a little weird for your friend to see your innards.  at least she’ll be honest and let you know how much or little subcutaneous tissue you have.

make a conscious decision to maintain good health if you have issues with spinal anesthesia.

love your husband. after all, he did this to you, but it makes it all worthwhile if it’s his face you want to see when your blood pressure is 55/36. 

try not to ever be in a situation where you need high-dose magnesium, unless you like the idea of not being able to feel your face, speak, or tell time.

when someone asks you what your pain level is, always answer “one” -- it will save you the trouble of vomiting up narcotics with a fresh abdominal incision.

relish the time that your family can be together in the same room, because it royally stinks when they are separated.

if you have to be separated, make sure to have your staff badge to take the shortcut

have tissues at the bedside, because people know that you are going through a tough time and will want to encourage you, and it’s the nice ones who will cause you to spring a leak

understand that the concept of “time” when hospitalized is dependent on two things: the seemingly rapid 12 hour shift change, and the ridiculously slow passage of days, such that your time with a favorite nurse flies by quickly but the number of days of your stay feels like an eternity.

fear the hormones.

recognize that the field of pediatric nursing and lactation consultancy is comprised of some pretty amazing and genuinely compassionate people.

make sure to have an awesome cousin in town to run your household when you may have a sudden caesarian section.  even better if you can arrange for that person to be such a good chef that your daycare teachers tell you they covet your kid’s lunches.

be satisfied with conservative management.  maybe it will get you a little bit more sleep at night.

KP and the Twizzles

So, we here in the BY Universe, have been inundated with requests for more pictures...  So here we go! 

(Editors Note: We've been locked in the hospital for a week, so our cellphones had to do the trick!)



Daddy and Mila



Mila





Daddy and Court



And to end the exhibit!

The Pizz

Week 1 Update

Well, if you haven't noticed, we haven't been posting since the birth of the Twizzles.  It has been an interesting and stressful week for all involved, but we're plugging through.

First of all, we are all healthy and doing well.

The GC2.0 had an uneventful postoperative course.  She has incisional and abdominal pain, which from what I see is improving.  She also struggled for a little to get her "milk to come in" after being doped up on magnesium and requiring transfusions, etc.  (That is a totally different blog entry for another time!)  But ... without further ado... she is now the DQ 2.0!!!!  This version is so much more advanced from the prior.  She has sought the help from every Certified Lactation Consultant (CLC for short; board certified!) from here to Durham.  She has also rented a hospital-grade, industrial strength pump.  Supposedly, her little Madella hands-free do-hicky was not up to the twin task.  According to some of her CLC's, that little pump motor might not be able to handle the stress of the new DQ2.0.  Oh boy!  And what stress it was!  She has been faithfully using her machines (she now has 3, in strategic locations) for produce every 3 hours!  WOWOWOWOWOW!  Like everything else, she is amazing.  She was discharged on Friday.

The Twizzles are chugging along, but are still in the hospital.  They were 35wks, and are still learning how to eat and develop.  Court had a short episode of respiratory distress, leading to a NICU transfer.  Interestingly enough, the second he was wheeled into the NICU, he perked up and had no further breathing problems.  (Funny how that works.  Adults are the same way too sometimes!)  Both he and his sister are just now working on eating and storing calories.  Today, Mila was brought down to join her brother, but basically to keep them in one place.  Too bad they didn't think about the "twin rooms" 4 days ago, when the DQ2.0 was hauling her postoperative self up and down, up and down, up and down trying to feed the twizzles.  I was also caught up in the act, having to drudge milk downstairs as well.  (Poor poor Editor)

The NICU is very conservative, and likes to hang on to their kids, so things seem to move very very slowly.  But there are much, much worse babies down there.  For that we are extremely fortunate!  (Oh, by the way, the NICU is an absolutely amazing place.  It was just completed about a year ago, and is modern to a T.  Each baby has his or her own room, which is bigger than my office, and they are wired for sound!  Amazing!)

The Editor is chugging along.  Somehow, I was able to keep working last week, making lives better through electricity!  I had 2 cases Tues AM, and then more the rest of the week.  Seems this was a busy work week for me as well.  I also started growing a beard... which I think added to our pathetic look.  The DQ2.0 doesn't like it, but she's so sleep deprived I'm not sure she'll even notice it's there...  I'll only shave it if the Pizz doesn't like it!  (So we all really know how long the beard is going to last!)

The Pizz is sooooo big, especially now compared to her sibs.  She is amazing; growing and developing at an alarming rate.  Seems we have missed so much in the past week.  Mo has been here since last Sunday (talk about timing!) and has been an absolute force for us.  We've gotten Pizz-o-penic the last couple of days, and with the consolidation in the NICU, decided to start sleeping at home.  (We had been "nesting" in the GC2.0's old room... which gave us a hotel-like feel.  With hospital food!!!)

So, we're home.  I'm blogging and the DQ2.0 has gone into the Nursery 2.0 to use her hospital-grade breast pump (we'll call it BP2.0!).  Mo, the Pizz, and Ham are sleeping.

Almost a complete family...

Happy Valentine's Day

So, it started off like any other day...

With the Pizz

But then a day filled for Valentines, hearts, flowers and chocolates

became filled with call, pacemakers, broken hearts, low platelets, creatinines, blood pressures, uric acids and "atypical pre-eclampsia"

But at the end of this wild 30+ hour ride comes the most amazing Valentines day gift ever.

Without further ado..

The Twizzles





"Court"

Michael Harcourt Yarnoz

5lbs 13oz

"Mila"

Camila Anne Yarnoz

5lbs 6oz.



Both Mommy and Twizzles are doing well...

and Valentine's day would never be the same again.

(What would you expect from a cardiologist?!)

Goodnight Kemper!

So, now that our Mo'Pair is in town, we have to show off some more cuteness...

First she needed a trim of the 'Do

A Frontal shot...

But then, we realized that the Pizz's gullet might be getting a little too big for her PJ's

Time to upgrade to the next level of Cam-me-downs!

Day 1... Year 5!

So, as many of you may know...  4 years ago today... was the first day of the rest of my life.  According to my ring, 2/10/07 is the date that will live on forever!

What a great trip it has been!

Here are some stats:

• We've lived in 2 states, 3 counties and 3 cities.
• We've bought and owned 2 houses.
• We've renovated both of them
• We've sold one of them
• We've bought 2 cars.
• We almost bought the Leaf (that was my idea, but the Twizzles happened)
• We've travelled to (and stayed in) Long Boat Key, Orlando, San Francisco, Houston, Austin, Bunkie, New Orleans, New York City, Boone, and Atlanta.
• We've travelled to 4 countries.
• Internationally, we've visited Niagra Falls, London, Paris, Normandy, Pau, Serlat, Pamplona, Madrid, Yarnoz (yes!), and San Sebastian.
• We've had car troubles in a foreign land (that is also if you include the fact that we couldn't start the rental car for two hours in the Paris garage... had to read the manual... in French!)
• We've been on the London Eye.
• We've walked the Normandy beaches...
• We've Run with the Bulls... (ok, maybe we just watched...)
• We've eaten more cheese, jamon, beans and chorizo that you can shake a stick at.  (But some could try)
• We've drank more wine then possible. 
• We've been to Pizza Hut in France
• and McDonald's in Madrid!
• We've been to famous museums and churches!
• and come back alive!
• We've worked in 8 separate hospitals and each held 3 jobs.
• We've gotten a MPH degree, and passed two boards. (The last one was absolutely mind boggling!)
• One is a Clinical Cardiac Electrophysiologist
• The other is a Master of Public Health.
• One has been to Haiti, and one almost went...(it counts for something!)
• One likes Justin Beiber... (it's not who you think!)
• We both like Glee.
• We've watched our friends get married...
• We've seen our cousins get married...
• We've been back to Duke to watch some basketball.
• We've won another National Championship (although it had to be watched in separate rooms!)
• We've had our names in lights (granted we had to pay for that!)
• We've watched some broadway and off-broadway plays.
• We've been to the movies like 5 times... (it is tough to agree on ones to watch... she can only stand so many SciFi movies, and I can only vomit through so many love comedies!)
• We watched every episode of the new Battlestar Galactica.  (Now, to my defense, I never wanted to start watching this, for fear of getting sucked in.  This one was all Maine)
• We've seen the Saints win a Super Bowl.
• We've had our luggage lost a couple of times... (leading to interesting stories of makeup buying and carseat renting)
• We've been to 10 beaches... (I think)
• We have one dog
• who's killed 2 cats... (er... 1 confirmed)
• We've locked in to Apple
• We've been pregnant 3 times... (ok, I am stretching the we part)
• with one calamity
• and one huge Cuteness
• and now the Twizzles on the way
• We've started a blog, and kept it going.  With an international flavor (Hoff, eat your heart out!)
• We've published the blog twice.
• We've taught our Cuteness to sign.
• and are struggling with the potty training
• We've invented AA, Goodnight Kemper, a Kemper lullaby, the Protectors of the Feet and the CleanCutenessArena.
• We're reading books
• We're using Green/cloth diapers... and Bum Genious'  (seriously, I don't ever think I would have typed that one)
• We've got the Pizz to sign "potty" when she... um... you know...
• We've cut the Pizzle's hair, like a ga-gillion times!
• We've eaten at Moe's about 250 times. 
• We've gotten the Pizz to love burritos too!
• We've experienced the Pizz post-burrito!  (pee-you!)
• We've gone solar hot water and geothermal!
• We've gone induction and low flow.
• We've rolled bamboo and Flor tiles.
• We've actually cut down trees too (yes, aghast!  how can that be green?!?)
• We've painted many walls, pregnant and not pregnant.
• We've re-done windows and put in skylights (one that is automatic!)
• We've bought a mini-van (yes, I might have mentioned this earlier.  But this shear fact alone is mind-boggling)
• We've crammed 3 carseats in the 2nd row of the minivan.
• We decorated walls with vinyl stickers
• We've put together two cribs.
• We have 2 nurseries.

Whew!  I am all tapped out.  My mind is racing.  Heart is pounding.  I cannot believe where the last four years have taken us.  But I can say that there is no other person I would have done it with.

rre

34 weeks down!

Now you see it (or, more appropriately, "them").....

Now you don't....

Yay! We're almost there!

The Santa Maria is Loaded Up!!!

The Pizz looking none too happy to be sitting next to two more carseats...

Living with the GC2.0

So, I am sure that you all are dying to know what its it like to live with the glorious incubator that is the 2.0!


Let me first preface this post (which was to be entirely composed on my new iPad) by saying that there is no way on this earth that I could do it. Nope. Not even for one day. Too big... Too uncomfortable... Too painful. (I can't even survive a simple tetanus shot...)

So, with that in mind, here are my observations:

1. The GC 2.0 has been genetically engineered for this moment!  I mean she is absolutely amazing.  She looks great and truly does not appear to be incubating twins.  Those little suckers are growing exponentially now, and she is physically none the worse!  (I am sure that when she was growing up, she thought about this moment to herself!)

2. But, as she is getting bigger, she gets more and more uncomfortable with herself.  (But you could never tell).  She physically can't do what she used to, but she still tries!  This leads her to start huffing and puffing... almost as if she had COPD. 

3. With the twizzles, the action in the GC2.0's cargo area is quite amazing.  One starts kicking, and then the other.  Soon, you have two separate areas of kicking and punching.  I cannot imagine how this feels internally!  It looks fairly impressive from afar...

4.  The larger size of the GC2.0 makes sleeping a huge problem.  She cannot stay in one position too long, due to either shortness of breath, backpain, sternal numbness, GERD or having to pee.  It is amazing.  I almost can't fall asleep at night with her moving... (almost!)  She also now utilizes about 10 pillows to sleep.  Seriously.  She has 3 pillows arranged to form a graded slope for her head.  She has a throw pillow on each side for lateral padding.  Then she has the pillow on the side so that when she rolls over her head is still high enough... Ok, so maybe I exaggerated some on the pillow quantity.  But it is still impressive. 

5. Speaking of the GERD and the peeing...  there is only so much real estate inside the GC2.0.  Since the Twizzles are taking up loads of it, other things have to go.  This means mainly the more accommodating organs, like the stomach and bladder.  Now, the GC had her share of GERD and urine frequency, but the 2.0 takes it to a whole other level.  It is unbelievable.  She cannot eat normally, for fear of early satiety or, even worse, GERD and burping.  This also means, that we have to eat by 6pm, because any later.... uh oh!  Also, she now is popping Tums like they are breathmints.  She had to relent to actually carrying the large Tums container around with her 24/7.  Yup!  In her purse!  The Pee thing is even worse.  Now it is to the point where, when she finishes in the bathroom and gets up, she has to pee again!  Wow!!!  (I actually just had her review my post, and this paragraph made her have to pee!!!)

6. "The Mind is Willing But The Body is Weak!"  So, essentially, this means, that the GC2.0 is the same as Charmaine, but with watermelon strapped to her abdomen.  This, unfortunately for myself, means that she physically cannot do what she wants to.  This means that someone else has to do the dirty work...  Since Hamilton is not able, that leaves the Editor to do the heavy lifting.  Man, she really likes to nest!  I think having 3 brains is making her want to work overtime!  It is tiring... and the Twizz haven't even arrived yet!

7. KP has no idea.  We're trying to keep her informed, by pointing to the GC2.0's belly and saying "babies".  But that doesn't seem to stick.  She does notice, however, that mommy's lap is not as accommodating as it once was.  This doesn't stop her from sitting it, but really makes her uncomfortable.  Once, while sitting her GC2.0's lap, she turned and pushed the belly, like she was fluffing some pillows.  Nice.
 
8. The GC2.0 seems to need lots of recharging.  Especially now, as she hits the home stretch.  Seems that the battery needs recharging quite frequently.  There is her morning nap, which occurs between 7-8 am.  There is the afternoon nap, which occurs between 3-5pm.  There is the post-lunch nap.  And then bedtime occurs around 9.  Whew! 
 
That is all!  (For now!)

And Down the Stretch We Come!!!

So, as of yesterday, the GC 2.0 has graduated from her MFM doctor. 

She is now officially on "cruise control".  (That is if the GC2.0 can cruise....)

And that means the Twizzles are around the corner....  oh Gosh!!!

So we're streamlined the BY Universe here a little, and hope add more posts soon.  (We've been busy, tired with work, tired with the continued renovation and stressed over everything...)

But I am sure there is humor to be found somewhere!!!   And I will find it!

My GI Tract has been Pizz-erated!!

Damn that daycare!!!

(on a brighter note, maybe I'll lose some of my pregnancy sympathy weight!)

Editor-Vision!!!

Welcome to Advanced Maternal Age!!!!

Well, ladies and gentlemen of the loyal BY Universe, on this day 35 years ago...

The GC2.0 was born.... ( well maybe she wasn't called that back then)

What a long, strange trip she has undertaken to reach this stage of her life. And we're so thankful that she's done it.

So wherever you are viewing this wonderful, amazingly humorous and insightful blog from, take a moment to realize that this humor...this creation...this baby signing time...this family...this swagger wagon...this wonderful, amazing life...would be nothing without her.

So Happy Birthday my wife, you're the bees knees!

RRE

Who's Got the Biggest Belly?

So two days ago, while staring at a naked Pizz run around her room, I got to wondering: 'man that Pizzle's belly is pretty big!!!'

But in the BY Universe, who has the biggest belly??? I mean, I have put on some of my own baby weight, but really???

I needed a scientific method for my approach. Surely it wouldn't be fair to just measure bellies.... the poor GC2.0 would win by a landslide. I went all the way back to my Duke Engineering days (my parents would be soo proud). I brought in some higher level math. I needed a way to 'even the playing field'... I found it.

I would take the belly circumference at the widest point, and divide it by the total height. This would be a standardized ratio...

The results (oh, and for some reason i used the metric system... Dunno why):

The Editor: 96/183 = 52.5%

Hamilton: 74/142 = 52.1%

The Pizz: 53/76 = 69.7%

The GC2.0: 110/163 = 67.5%

So, the winner, by the hair of her little cuteness head...

Is The Pizz!!!!

We are so proud!!!

One Small Sign for the Pizz

One Giant Leap for Parenthood...

So, as many of you may know, we here in BY Universe have been practicing with the Pizz the American Sign Language. We were hoping to expand her abilities, and to tone down some fussiness.

After some intial skepticism, I realized that she really has picked up some "words.". This has been fun and fascinating for the GC2.0 and myself. She has expanded her vocab with signs for food and animals. Her favorites are definitely dog, bird, and eat. So we have ramped up our training, trying to incorporate more "useful" signs.

Today, we learned of the fruits of our toils.

So, we are finishing up our dinner tonight... Yummy burgers and fries. Very tasty. The Pizz agrees, making the belly rub (aka "yummy to my tummy"). But she starts getting squrimy, so we let her down. Then she rummages around the kitchen, while the GC2.0 and I finish our dinner.

Then we see it... The Pizz, over in the corner, squatting down with her P-p-p-purple face. At the exact same instant that she sees us staring at her, she lifts up her left hand in a fist and shakes it... Effectively making the sign for "poop".

I looked over at the GC2.0, who was smiling. I too was smiling... I was never more proud of my daughter or, frankly, myself. I am the Father of the Year!!!

(now if we can only figure out how to translate this into potty training...)

The Editor's Maiden Voyage on the Santa Maria!!!

So, we knew this day would come some time!!!

This AM, as we are dutifully getting the Pizz ready for daycare, the GC2.0 says to me, "Why don't you take the van today?"  **twinkle, twinkle**

Oh, come on!  I mean, you've already taken away my manhood by convincing me to drive the civic, because it was "more economical", but now?!?!?

"Um... er... um.. I feel better with you in the van.  It is much safer than the Civic!"  "Nope!  Silly, you can drive the van today!"

And, there you go!

So the Pizz and I are all bundled up as we exit the GM and enter the carport!  There she was... the Santa Maria!...  I look at the Pizz, she looks back... we're ready!  I press the button to open the side door.... whoosh!!!  The Pizz is impressed!  I plop her in the carseat and lock her in...  Press the button to close the door... whoosh!!!  That was easy!

I get in the driver's side and survey the dash.  I adjust the mirrors, slide the seat... Oh and the heater... and away we go...

So, here were the highlights of the voyage:

1.  Backup camera:  a nice plus.  Really disorienting at first.  I focused entirely on the camera, and forgot about everything else.  Probably not a good idea.

2. XM radio: ooh I forgot how cool this is.... ahhh rocking to Pearl Jam station...  The Pizz likes it!  We can switch to Top 40 at the drop of a hat.

3. Heated seats:  ***OMIGOD***  I really have no earthly idea how I drove for 35 years without these things.  Wow!  I mean, it should be against the law to overate heavy machinery without this feature.  Toasty buns are the way to go!  I mean wow!!  The downside is that I used to be able to gauge how hot the car was for the Pizz, now I have no idea... She could be a Pizz-sicle back there...  This is definitely Swaggerific!

4. Turning radius: surprisingly sharp.  I almost forgot about the big ol' backside of this behemoth! 

5. Swagger-ific: See #2.  Probably not cool to be see rocking out to Pearl Jam while driving a minivan.  Really takes away the manhood a little bit...  Chicks (those that were out in the early freezing AM hours...) didn't dig it.

6.  Ride:  definitely Swagger baby!  Cruises like a dream.  Man I can drive for hours with this thing... If only the Pizz wouldn't scream!  Oh, wait!  I have a drop down DVD!!!  It's Baby Signing Time!!!

7.  Parking:  definitely the big negative her.  This barge needs a wide wide berth to park.  Maybe even a tug boat for assistance.  I pull into the daycare, and have to pull off the road to park...  Whew!  Then when I got to the hospital, I parked and backed up like 4 times to get the thing lined up in the space.  Eh!

8.  Drop off: man those sliding doors are great.  I pick up the Pizz, her stuff, my keys, and then push a button... Whoosh!!!  Door closes...  Swagger baby!!

9. Cup holders:  Man there are like a 1000!!!  The Pizz now has one too, just for her cup.  At one point, I had 3 diet pepsi cans, my cell phone, my cell phone holster, and my pager in individual cup holders...  Swagger baby!

10. Manly quotient: definite zero.  No chickies would give the time all day!  I think I even saw one point and laugh.  Oh well.  What are you going to do?  I got the twizzles coming soon.  I imagine in about 2 years these sliding doors are going to open and kids will come pouring out!  How can that not be cool?

So after the Editor's maiden voyage on the Santa Maria, he thinks that he will be taking her out again real, real soon.... with toasty, toasty buns!

The Hoff, eat your heart out!!!

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Adding to the BY Fleet

Well, followers of the BY Universe, we have finally purchased the new family truckster for ultimate transport!!!!

Well, actually the GC2.0 did the purchasing all while I was at work. They kept her in the dealership for 3.5 hours!!!! I am hoping that she will blog about the ordeal. (I think it could be another BY classic; she 'accidentally' turned into a gentleman's club parking lot)

But now the BY fleet has a new sister ship to her armada.

The Niña = the Honda Civic hybridstyle

The Pinta = the 4Runner

The Santa Maria = the Toyota Sienna



Oh how my life is over!!!!!!!

More Work from the GC 2.0

Holiday Week, Part Duex!

So, there were more events during the holiday week that was...

Oh much more... 

Somehow, the GC 2.0 was sneaky enough to lure La-La to our humble abode.  Little did she know what she was setting herself into.

Seems the GC 2.0 has this all planned out.  Lure La-La to the GM, have her fix tasty food, and then use her to rearrange/organize the whole GM...  Oh yes...  The Editor and La-La were not going to have a relaxing weekend.

So we moved and organized the whole GM.  The second guest room was moved down to the bonus room (aka Scarface room).  This was moved and arranged, and should make a nice little live-in suit for the new au pair.

Oh, but we're not done.  Next, the Ocean guest room was moved to the smaller room.  This is now the "Master Guest Room", replete with it's own bathroom and own thermostat! 

Then the Ocean bedroom is now the Nursery 2.0.  This, as you will see later, was painted and decorated all splendid for the Twizzler's impending arrival.  We even moved dressers around.  Rugs are pending.

Whew!

But, as you saw earlier, we did have time to give out gifts..

Outside of the Pizz, the Editor again racked up some serious swag!

Seems we are going to have some new sponsors to the BY Universe.  Welcome Apple and iFlip to the cache of supporters of the blog. 

More to blog about those later....