Living with the GC2.0

So, I am sure that you all are dying to know what its it like to live with the glorious incubator that is the 2.0!


Let me first preface this post (which was to be entirely composed on my new iPad) by saying that there is no way on this earth that I could do it. Nope. Not even for one day. Too big... Too uncomfortable... Too painful. (I can't even survive a simple tetanus shot...)

So, with that in mind, here are my observations:

1. The GC 2.0 has been genetically engineered for this moment!  I mean she is absolutely amazing.  She looks great and truly does not appear to be incubating twins.  Those little suckers are growing exponentially now, and she is physically none the worse!  (I am sure that when she was growing up, she thought about this moment to herself!)

2. But, as she is getting bigger, she gets more and more uncomfortable with herself.  (But you could never tell).  She physically can't do what she used to, but she still tries!  This leads her to start huffing and puffing... almost as if she had COPD. 

3. With the twizzles, the action in the GC2.0's cargo area is quite amazing.  One starts kicking, and then the other.  Soon, you have two separate areas of kicking and punching.  I cannot imagine how this feels internally!  It looks fairly impressive from afar...

4.  The larger size of the GC2.0 makes sleeping a huge problem.  She cannot stay in one position too long, due to either shortness of breath, backpain, sternal numbness, GERD or having to pee.  It is amazing.  I almost can't fall asleep at night with her moving... (almost!)  She also now utilizes about 10 pillows to sleep.  Seriously.  She has 3 pillows arranged to form a graded slope for her head.  She has a throw pillow on each side for lateral padding.  Then she has the pillow on the side so that when she rolls over her head is still high enough... Ok, so maybe I exaggerated some on the pillow quantity.  But it is still impressive. 

5. Speaking of the GERD and the peeing...  there is only so much real estate inside the GC2.0.  Since the Twizzles are taking up loads of it, other things have to go.  This means mainly the more accommodating organs, like the stomach and bladder.  Now, the GC had her share of GERD and urine frequency, but the 2.0 takes it to a whole other level.  It is unbelievable.  She cannot eat normally, for fear of early satiety or, even worse, GERD and burping.  This also means, that we have to eat by 6pm, because any later.... uh oh!  Also, she now is popping Tums like they are breathmints.  She had to relent to actually carrying the large Tums container around with her 24/7.  Yup!  In her purse!  The Pee thing is even worse.  Now it is to the point where, when she finishes in the bathroom and gets up, she has to pee again!  Wow!!!  (I actually just had her review my post, and this paragraph made her have to pee!!!)

6. "The Mind is Willing But The Body is Weak!"  So, essentially, this means, that the GC2.0 is the same as Charmaine, but with watermelon strapped to her abdomen.  This, unfortunately for myself, means that she physically cannot do what she wants to.  This means that someone else has to do the dirty work...  Since Hamilton is not able, that leaves the Editor to do the heavy lifting.  Man, she really likes to nest!  I think having 3 brains is making her want to work overtime!  It is tiring... and the Twizz haven't even arrived yet!

7. KP has no idea.  We're trying to keep her informed, by pointing to the GC2.0's belly and saying "babies".  But that doesn't seem to stick.  She does notice, however, that mommy's lap is not as accommodating as it once was.  This doesn't stop her from sitting it, but really makes her uncomfortable.  Once, while sitting her GC2.0's lap, she turned and pushed the belly, like she was fluffing some pillows.  Nice.
 
8. The GC2.0 seems to need lots of recharging.  Especially now, as she hits the home stretch.  Seems that the battery needs recharging quite frequently.  There is her morning nap, which occurs between 7-8 am.  There is the afternoon nap, which occurs between 3-5pm.  There is the post-lunch nap.  And then bedtime occurs around 9.  Whew! 
 
That is all!  (For now!)