BY, Kitchen Remodel, Limited-Time Offer, and the GolfCart!!!

It is 8:15pm and I am just sitting down to relax after a long day. Actually I am drinking a tall glass of the last remaining alcohol in the loft. Vodka. Ahhh... So what happened you ask? Well....

So the day was just like any other, except that today the GolfCart was cruising hybrid-style down to Wilmington to check over the renovation progress. So I get up, shower, walk dog, kiss her goodbye, roll into work, meet patient, prep for ablation. Ablation going well... finished the flutter line, took care of the fibrillation, yada yada yada... Until she starts developing other flutters from all over the place. I lost count after 4. This was around 2pm, and I realize that it is going to be a long day...

Still tracking down flutters until I get a page around 4pm... "782-3208"

Hmmm... well those numbers are familiar, but not exactly the GolfCart's. (Sidenote: one interesting thing about the GC is that now with the hormones, iphone, and hunger and all, she never can page me her right phone number... Don't know why) But I get mine confused all the time too, so I call her back.

"Hey"
"Yo baby! What's up?" In the background, I hear lots of ambient noise, chatter, and overhead Muzak....
"I'm at $3@%@ (local appliance store that will remain nameless). I need your help." Hmm, i think, what is going on. (Editors note: the original plan for appliances was to order them on the 1st when we get down there, get a creditcard, and put them on lay-a-way... always wanted to do that!)
"What's up?"
"Well... umm... I need you to go to ____ and sign up for a credit card."
"eh?!?!"
"Well, I'm here now, and it turns out that we can get 10% off, free shipping, and all our appliances if we order by the 18th!" Hmmmm
"Oh"
"I tried to get one myself, but was denied during the lightning question round." (For those who don't know, the GC was the victim way-back-when of some identity theft/cell phone scheme from South Jersey. Now she has some super lockdown on her ID and no cards can be issued without talking to the Pope.)
"Really."
"Yeah. We need to do this by the 18th, cuz that's when the deal goes away. I met some dude, named Chuck (I think), that can "rig" the system and get us free shipping as well as the lay-a-way."
(Editors note: So those of you who know Charmaine, realize that when she gets something into her head, she doesn't let it go. Bulldogish. One of her lovely, amazing qualities. Well, know as the GolfCart, these qualities are amplified a 1000%!!! Add to it some extra hormones and some crazy GERD, and you see where this is going)
"Hmmm. I think I can help." Meanwhile, I am sitting in the control room, looking into the lab as my attending is blazing away at flutter #4. I think I am never going to get out of the lab to do this on time.
"I'll give you a call when I'm done here"

So I hang up. Damn, what shady thing are we getting ourselves into now! So I sulk back inside the lab. I am leary to go near the stimulator, for fear of inducing flutter #5.

Finally, it's 6pm and we're done!!! No more tachycardias! I scribble out my report, enter some computer orders, and wait for her to wake up. I am not sure if she was fully awake as the anesthesiologists rolled her out the door. But I didn't care; MUST HELP THE GC!!!

I call her from the road. She's staked out at the Mall, eating dinner, waiting for my call. We hatch out the Plan. By this time, I make it to the store. I hang up. I wander around the store, until I axe (NC lingo) some lady where I can apply for a card. Oh, she says with a smile, right over here. (I see wheels churning, and $$$ falling out of my pockets!) She leads me over to a girl who couldn't be older than 20 to take my info. The whole form is "really easy", just write your name here and sign here. So, then into the computer, she takes my SSN and my drivers license number, and DOB. Then we wait....

Um, sir... you've been denied! WHAT!@?!?@?! Fo Real!?!?!?! (I had visions of the GC waiting by the appliance counter wanting to kill me) She hands me the printout with the computer text on it. In my mind, I hear the losing theme from the Price is RIght (wa wa waaaaa!!)

But there is a number on it to call. So I did. Talked to George, who sounded American, I think. Then he punted me to Stephen (after 15mins of waiting). During this time, surprisingly, I had not heard from the GC!. So Mr Yarnoz, let us see what was the problem with your application. (Dammit Steve, I didn't go to 6 years of evil medical school to be called Mr!!!). Well, sir, it turns out you were denied application because of age. Really?!?!?! How old do you have to be to get a card from here? Hmmm... it has your birthday as 2003!!! Fo real! Damn, that young attendant. She brought on the angst of the GC!!!! So after another 10minutes of updating, I get approved. Yeah!

Now by this time, my cellphone is surely dying. (Always at the worst time) So I call the GC back, and tell her the news. I give her the info that Chuck needed... (funny, I feel in about 2 months I might be a victim of some cellphone scam in South Jersey too.) and drive home thinking that everything should be handled.

Sort of.

I make it home to find Ham, poor guy, sitting by the door with his back legs crossed. Poor guy didn't know what he wanted first: food, bathroom, or petting. Watching him jump around was funny. Turns out he wanted food. So now, I get a call from the GC: there might be an issue with the amount of $$$ we're charging. What!!?!?! Yeah, .. oh wait.. the company's going to call you now.

Crap. We're busted. I can see it now. I am going to get stuck with $20k worth of Mary Kay products and Tupperware.

So I get a call from the stores' consumer center. Oh boy. By this time, Ham's had enough of food and realizes that his bladder/bowels are talking now! I am so hyped up right now, I tell the dude everything. Ramble ramble ramble. He must have thought I was pregnant! How we're moving, trying to renovate a kitchen, wife's pregnant with our firstborn, dog needs to pee, how i'm losing my hair. He finally says that everything is ok, probably just to get me to shut up.

Whew! Done!

I call back the GC, who's now at home, happy as a lark with the knowledge that we saved some $$$ somewhere in this whole crazy thing, preparing to paint the BY's closet!

That is what made it all worthwhile. Hopefully it all works out...


But if not, who needs some Tupperware?

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