Kemper Does Austin, 3

Well, sorry for the delay... (Daddy Day Care this weekend!! Whew!!!)

So back to the weekend... Sunday morning was very leisurely. Everyone awoke at their own pace. The grownups had coffee, Michael had breakfast and the KP had sauce! Then shower time. Then the grown up dudes went to Sears to get an oil change! (yes had to have some man time at Sears during the weekend. Did I mention it is a supporter of the BY Universe!!!)

We all regrouped at the house to gather up our stuff and head off to lunch. Another Tex-Mex restaurant! Man I love it!!!! Fajitas from the source!!!! Unfortunately, Daddy sat in the way back of the car... and got a little carsick! Damn.... Didn't puke, but just got queasy. We made it to the restaurant and ate the yummy fajitas... Yum... My stomach was still doing somersaults, but I was able to trudge on... like a trooper!

Then the airport OCD started kicking in... Flight was at 430pm... It was 1230... Tick tick tick tick. Stomach did another couple of jumps.. Then we took off... after I finished my 4th refill of diet coke (ahhh refills!).

We pull up to the airport ~130pm. I got out of the car and collected our bags. (that was my job... the DQ had the KP). I said goodbye and took off for the double doors.... Have ... to ... get... on ... the ... plane.... Then I heard the words "Uh oh" from behind me. I turn around to see the DQ holding the KP awkwardly.

"Babe, we've got to MOVE!!!" "Yes, I know, Mike, but we have a problem!"

"What?" She mouthed the word "POOP"!!!

Oh crap! "Can't we make it through security first!?!?!?" "No, Mike, I felt it leaking through when I got her out of the carseat!"

Great... The KP left a present in the car for our lovely guests. That is definitely no way to wooo a man! I'll have to talk to her about it later. Now, we have a problem. We have to find a bathroom. We enter the ticketing lobby. Nothing around. Uh oh.... tick tick tick... My heartrate is now beating through my throat!

The DQ trudges off to the side of the lobby, away from the masses. "Where are you going?!?!?" She plops down on the side of the lobby, right in the middle, near a bank of chairs for cover. "Are you seriously going to do this here?!?!?!"

Before I could get an answer, the diaper bag was out. "Guess... so" KP was placed on it. She was all smiles... damn she is cute! The DQ sets out to work on the mess. I scan the lobby to see it we're being watched. Nope, but probably all over the security cams. I turn back to the DQ, to see the clothes being ripped off. Man! Did she ever have a blow out?!?!?!? Green poop down her legs ... everywhere! She had been storing up this BM for a while.

Then the DQ fingers for the diaper tabs. "wait a second!?!? where are we going to put -?" Blammo!!! Diaper wide open and poop was everywhere!!! I mean wow!!!! Green lathers of poop all over her frontside and backside. This was a all-hands-on-deck moment. I grabbed the wipes and started wiping. Holy cow! I also took out a plastic bag to contain the biohazardous waste. Whew! It reeked too... Throughout all of this, the KP was coo-ing and passing out cuteness left and right. Sweat was running down my brow... tick..tick..tick... I mean, if there was a security camera on me, with sweat running down my face, nervously checking my watch... I would be screwed. I realized that I am getting a full cavity search for this one. Back to the cleaning of the KP's cavities.... The DQ looks up and hands me the biohazard bag, and says "Deal with this!" Whew! Oh my god... How can something so cute produce this!?!?!?!

I looked up, saw the trashcan across the lobby, and grabbed the bag. I made my way towards the can... visions of "24" through my head... if I was a terrorist, this would be one hell of a way to drop a bomb (literally... the KP figuratively dropped a big one). I throw the bag away, and run back to the DQ. She was finished putting the KP back together. Whew!

Tick tick tick

Then we get in line for our tickets.... got em

Then we get in line for security.... damn this thing is long.... tick tick tick... Sweating profusely now! "Maine we're ... not ... going ... to ... make ... it" "Calm down you silly goose!"

We get through security finally... No strip search for me. The KP was totally passing out cuteness to everyone in line. Even the screeners. Some asked how old he was.... I wasn't in the mood to correct. He's 5 months!!

Tick tick tick...

We make it to the gate. Hooray! Check the time... 3:30pm!!! "Whew!!!!" The DQ looks at me with a mixed bag of scorn and distaste... "Damn you're a spaz!" Yes, I am. But I am a spaz who is not going to miss this flight!!!

Flying was totally uneventful. The KP went through it like a breeze! She did do some early crying before takeoff, but with a quick hookup to the tap, she was all good!

We landed in Atlanta on time. (A miracle!) Since we had a long layover, we decided to get something. Where did the two young Parents of the Year go? A bar!

Ahhh yes. Daddy needed another beer. The DQ had to go find a bathroom.

So I sat down at a small table with the Pizz, watching football (just like her Daddy!)

"awww she is soo cute"

I look over to my right. Cougars! I didn't know how I missed them!!! Man, they hunt in packs!

"Yes she is ... Thank you."

"Travelling alone with her?" Gametime!!! Time for me to throw some Daddy charm!! "Why yes. She's been great, being without her mom and all!"

"Awww... what happened to her mom?" "Well, it was a sudden accident. Her mom caught Ebola while doing relief work in Africa. She was taken emergently to the CDC here in Atlanta. I had to take Kemper to see her."

"Oh my gosh! How tragic? How is she coping?" putty... I can see the digits flowing now... Score one for dads everywhere!

"She's doing great... she's a real trooper for her daddy... **sniffle, sniffle**..."

Right then, "Hey babe!" The DQ arrives and picks up the Pizz. "Did you miss Mommy?!?!?. The cougars stare quizzically. Damn, I got DQ'd!!!

"It's a MIRACLE!!!!" I stand up and hug the Maine... "She's alive!"

The cougars turn their heads in disgust... and start focusing on other prey!

The DQ- "what did you do?"

"Nothing babe....CHECK PLEASE!!!!"

And thus ends our eventful trip to Austin....

Kemper Does Austin, 2

Day 2


So, the hump day of the trip arrived. The day to relax and enjoy all that Austin had to offer. Just two young budding families hanging out in the hip Austin environs.


Except for the Arctic temperatures.


It was a nice, leisurely day. Went to a nice tex-mex restaurant for some yummy local fare. (It did feel a little weird to eat mexican while freezing...) But the beer went down easy.



The Pizz?




Well, she was passing out her usual cuteness to all. She even flirted with a husband-to-be... It might have been love at first sight... (This might have been one of the informal reasons for the trip... to set up a competition for the KP's hand.... the gauntlet has been thrown down!!!)





Although, there were times that Michael was more interested in the camera.



There was playoff football, and naps for the dads.



Naps for the kids too.



Then it was bathtime for all.


Cuz the kids had a date!




Well, ok, the parents went out to eat. An amazingly yummy restaurant with an eclectic crowd. (There was this older group who were wearing formal ware. Was there an old-man prom somewhere? Why weren't we invited.)


Then we went home early to find the two lovebirds asleep... in separate cribs. Whew! Didn't have to have the talk yet.


Then the grownups had some more chatting time...


Then off to bed...


Day 2... in the books.

(PS.... we haven't mention changing poopy diapers yet.... hmmm.... Stay tuned!)

Kemper Does Austin

Day 1

Well, the plan was set before I could even hit 'Enter' on buying the tickets. I would do my cases, finish up my work, and then make a b-line home. There we head straight to the airport for the last flight to Atlanta. Then to Austin. Ham was taken care of. 'It is perfect' says the DQ, and humpfs off… feeling quite content.

Sure. Sounds great.

So before the day arrives, one of my cases gets sick and has to reschedule. Perfect! The gods are aligning for us to. This must be a sign.

Then Friday arrives.

I start my only case of the day. One that should take me about 3 hours. Man, it was a freakin disaster. I couldn't get the special pacemaker wire to go where it was supposed to. I took 3 hours just trying. Tick tick tick… I kept looking at the clock, knowing that I had way too much time. Damn this guy's anatomy!!!

So finally, I just gave up. Now it was 1pm. The flight was at 6. My "airport OCD" started kicking in. I gave up on the special wire, and finished the case. He would have to go to surgery for that… Damn…

I finish rounding on my patients, make my signout, and high-tail it home. It's like 3pm now… I had to take a shower (also with my OCD, I have a little bit of a perspiration problem… especially under stress). Damned with the airport OCD, patient OCD, and travel OCD, I have a mountain of stress. I practically sweat right through my scrubs… changed them a different color.

I get out and dry off. "Gotta go! Gotta go now!!!!!" I scream to the DQ. It's 3:30 for our 6pm flight. I have to make it to the airport. Fearing the difficulty of getting KP through the airtight Wilmington security. We say goodbye to Ham, who has absolutely no idea why his dad is such a freak, and head out.

We make it to the airport and park the car by 4pm. We get up to the booth… only to find out that due to the weather in Atlanta (snowstorm) the flight had been delayed until 7:50pm. Damn.

We check in, in like 2 seconds and head towards security. No line. Damn, where is all the traffic! Oh, wait, I look at Charmaine, no sane person is going to be travelling in this schmutz! Then we realized that we had a ga-gillion hours before the flight. We surveyed the Wilmington airport. (Now, to call this place an airport would do airports a disservice. It is definitely a small, commuter airport. I have no idea how it got a title of International. It has one coffee stand and one bar and one cheesy souvenir stand) . We were thirsty and hungry, so we went into the bar.

Now this must have been a sight. A man, a woman, and a 4-month old baby in a sling on her mother pony up to the bar. (This has to be a joke somewhere!) The other tables were not open for business, so we had to actually sit at the bar. There we were, shinning models of parenting: sitting at a bar, drinking beer without 4-month old. I am surprised that we weren't arrested for child abuse.

Finally we pay up and head back to security. Damned thing didn't even take 5 minutes to pass through. Everyone was mesmerized by the Kemper Cuteness. We could've smuggled a bomb in her diapers. The DQ looked at me, with a sly smile, and said "See… no trouble at all!"

Then we got to the "gate" and waited… and waited…. And waited. Nothing. 7:50pm came and went without a blink of an eye. We made a little tent for the KP to nap in. My OCD, which had abated with passing through security, now started ratcheting up. Fears of missing the connection, and getting stranded in the godforsaken ATL airport!

Finally the plane lands. The people deplane. Delta calls for boarding. Then the decision. The time was going to be really tight. We were going to have to run like the dickens to try to make the connection. The only thing that the Delta people told us was that the connecting flight was late. The DQ was like: "We go for it!!!!" I wanted to go home. Guess who was going to win this one!

So we finally board the plane. There was like 5 people on this puddle jumper. I wanted to make a statement: "I am sorry for the possibility of crying. This is the KP's maiden flight." The doors close and the Pizz starts to cackle a little. Uh oh! The DQ tries to pacify her, but when we start moving, it ratchets up. So, no choice, out comes the tap! (covered by the hooter hider). The KP goes quiet.

And doesn't say or do anything for the rest of the flight!

Wow!

So we land in Atl at 9pm. Whew! This thing might actually work! We might make it! But the freakin Atl airport is such a clusterfudge! We taxied for-ever!!! We finally get to the gate and then wait! … "er… Sorry we're waiting on the crew to bring us in!" Come on people!!! What does the airport pay them for! This place sucks!

I nervously glance at my watch as we start to deboard… 930pm. Uh oh. Flight is at 10pm. My heart rate is now 130!

So we get off at the B terminal and have to go to the D terminal! Fudge! We're screwed. I grab out carryon baggage, and we're off to the races!

It really must have been a sight (except for the fact that Atl is crazy congested, you might not have seen us!). We're moving at top speed. Myself tugging two shoulder bags and a roller board. The DQ with the KP in a sling in front of her. Racing through the Atl airport…. "Tram?" the DQ asks. "No time!!! We've… gotta… move!!!!" Running through the underground tunnels…. The KP wide awake by now… staring… gawking at the sights whizzing by!!! She was definitely the most entertained. We made it to the C terminal…. We were huffing. Must… keep… going… The KP?? Loving it while hanging on for dear life in the sling… Finally make it to D and run up to the gate… They're boarding!!! Whew!!!

We get on the plane. Unload the KP. Sit down and bust out the Hooter-Hider! Hook the KP up and … whoosh!! We're off. Flying toward Austin. Then the KP's out… asleep! Wonderful!!! Austin here we come! The DQ's out too. Me, I'm so keyed up from the day, I can't do anything but stare into the seat in front of me.

Finally we land in Austin and its balmy 15 degree weather. The KP's out for the count. Eric picks us up and takes us home.

Ahhhh.

Day 1 in the books.

Happy Birthday, DQ!!!!!!!

On this day.... 89 years ago.... The DQ was born!!!







Ok...




Maybe, it wasn't quite like that...







She was known as Charmaine!!!!





So, as a shout out to the #1 Mommy in the BY Universe, we'll pepper this post with some of our favorite DQ and KP pics!!!!

Who's older now???!?!? ha ha ha

A BY Weekend Getaway - Preamble

Editors Note: Sorry for the delay in posting. Obviously this week has been very hectic for the BY Universe. Hopefully my new found mojo will provide some humor and diversion.

Preamble-

So the other day, the DQ and I are basking the glow of my Emory check. (You see, one day about 2 years ago, we get a notice in the mail. Emory was going to sue the government to try to recoup some of our taxes during residency. They argued, successfully, that we were students, and not subject to some of the taxes that we paid. Well, after 2 years, Emory v US Government was successful. My check came in the mail. The DQ's.... hmmm)

We were giddy with $$$ floating in our heads. Woo hoo!!!

She says "We should go somewhere"

"Humph" I say. Where to?" I figured the absurdity of trying to fly somewhere with a 4 month would have set her mind straight. Plus we were in the middle of this cold weather snap, with calls for snow and freezing rain. Seriously, let's be realistic here. Why can't we just go to Moe's? Maybe spurge on a large queso?

I had forgotten who I had married.

Next thing I knew, she had popped open her laptop and began researching every possible destination.

"Bunkie" ... Affordable... but someone is moving that weekend, and nobody will be there.

"Tampa" ... Schedules didn't work out. (I had to work late)

"Houston" ... There is supposed to be snow.

(whew! I felt that reason was starting to come over the DQ. Yeah, I could be saved!!!)

"We're going to Austin!!" Really? But isn't it going to be cold and snowy there too.

"Nope. We can do it. Schedule works!"

I thought this was now becoming a one big hoax to try to rile me up. (Editor's Note: I have forgotten if I had ever mentioned my travel OCD. I am not sure how to describe it. I am not afraid of flying or travelling. In fact I love to go places. I just have a problem with airports, schedules, security, and being late. I have to get to the airport about 5 hours before takeoff, to make sure I get there. If not, I get really, really nervous. Really nervous. I began thinking about my Friday lab schedule... ooooh, it was going to be close. My HR started to pick up.... oh gosh! Man this woman is mean... She has to be kidding!!!)

I looked at her... Stone cold DQ. Dead serious.

I was screwed.

I tried to talk some sense into her, "Babe, it's going to be cold. We're flying through Atlanta. In this predicted SNOWSTORM!!!"

It was too late. The DQ made up her mind.

She gave me the look that said: I'm going to Austin. KP's going to Austin. YOU don't have to go!

Oh boy!

Thus begins "Kemper Does Austin!"

"What is my crazy mommy going to do now?"

Blogger's Block - BY Style

As you loyal BY viewers have probably realized, there has been a paltry posting since Christmas. In fact, almost zilch.

That is not good for the BY Universe... How can we become more popular than the Hoff!

But we were on our way.... except for a little hiccup. I think I became a victim of my fame. Gosh darn it!

With the achievement of triple board certification (man, I am totally waiting to use that as a pickup line.... er... Well, I'll be waiting for a while....), the focus then turned solely to the BY Universe. I thought I was up to the task... Bring it on!

But then I heard stories about how everyone thought the blog was hilarious... and how can the DQ live with me!... (I know I know. I can't figure it out either).... It all got to my head!

The ego ballooned.... I expected a phone call from the Hoff any day.

So as the KPizz (new rap name) got cuter and cuter, the stories should be getting funnier and funnier.... I was so fixated on producing masterpieces at each and every post. Then it happened: Blogger's Block! I would sit at the computer with a funny idea and try to blog. It all came out like poo, or Tapi. Overly produced. Dull. Drab.

Oh crap! The BY Universe was going to go the way of the Dodo and Hula Hoops! The Hoff would win! I was distraught. Pressure fed on itself. There were days that I feared looking at my laptop so I avoided it like the plague!

Hours turned to days. Days turned to weeks! No posting. I needed a sign. A spark. Something to get my creative juices flowing again. Unclog the damn!

Who would have known that it would have come in the form of a little check courtesy of Emory and the US Government.

Stay Tuned!