Kemper Does Austin

Day 1

Well, the plan was set before I could even hit 'Enter' on buying the tickets. I would do my cases, finish up my work, and then make a b-line home. There we head straight to the airport for the last flight to Atlanta. Then to Austin. Ham was taken care of. 'It is perfect' says the DQ, and humpfs off… feeling quite content.

Sure. Sounds great.

So before the day arrives, one of my cases gets sick and has to reschedule. Perfect! The gods are aligning for us to. This must be a sign.

Then Friday arrives.

I start my only case of the day. One that should take me about 3 hours. Man, it was a freakin disaster. I couldn't get the special pacemaker wire to go where it was supposed to. I took 3 hours just trying. Tick tick tick… I kept looking at the clock, knowing that I had way too much time. Damn this guy's anatomy!!!

So finally, I just gave up. Now it was 1pm. The flight was at 6. My "airport OCD" started kicking in. I gave up on the special wire, and finished the case. He would have to go to surgery for that… Damn…

I finish rounding on my patients, make my signout, and high-tail it home. It's like 3pm now… I had to take a shower (also with my OCD, I have a little bit of a perspiration problem… especially under stress). Damned with the airport OCD, patient OCD, and travel OCD, I have a mountain of stress. I practically sweat right through my scrubs… changed them a different color.

I get out and dry off. "Gotta go! Gotta go now!!!!!" I scream to the DQ. It's 3:30 for our 6pm flight. I have to make it to the airport. Fearing the difficulty of getting KP through the airtight Wilmington security. We say goodbye to Ham, who has absolutely no idea why his dad is such a freak, and head out.

We make it to the airport and park the car by 4pm. We get up to the booth… only to find out that due to the weather in Atlanta (snowstorm) the flight had been delayed until 7:50pm. Damn.

We check in, in like 2 seconds and head towards security. No line. Damn, where is all the traffic! Oh, wait, I look at Charmaine, no sane person is going to be travelling in this schmutz! Then we realized that we had a ga-gillion hours before the flight. We surveyed the Wilmington airport. (Now, to call this place an airport would do airports a disservice. It is definitely a small, commuter airport. I have no idea how it got a title of International. It has one coffee stand and one bar and one cheesy souvenir stand) . We were thirsty and hungry, so we went into the bar.

Now this must have been a sight. A man, a woman, and a 4-month old baby in a sling on her mother pony up to the bar. (This has to be a joke somewhere!) The other tables were not open for business, so we had to actually sit at the bar. There we were, shinning models of parenting: sitting at a bar, drinking beer without 4-month old. I am surprised that we weren't arrested for child abuse.

Finally we pay up and head back to security. Damned thing didn't even take 5 minutes to pass through. Everyone was mesmerized by the Kemper Cuteness. We could've smuggled a bomb in her diapers. The DQ looked at me, with a sly smile, and said "See… no trouble at all!"

Then we got to the "gate" and waited… and waited…. And waited. Nothing. 7:50pm came and went without a blink of an eye. We made a little tent for the KP to nap in. My OCD, which had abated with passing through security, now started ratcheting up. Fears of missing the connection, and getting stranded in the godforsaken ATL airport!

Finally the plane lands. The people deplane. Delta calls for boarding. Then the decision. The time was going to be really tight. We were going to have to run like the dickens to try to make the connection. The only thing that the Delta people told us was that the connecting flight was late. The DQ was like: "We go for it!!!!" I wanted to go home. Guess who was going to win this one!

So we finally board the plane. There was like 5 people on this puddle jumper. I wanted to make a statement: "I am sorry for the possibility of crying. This is the KP's maiden flight." The doors close and the Pizz starts to cackle a little. Uh oh! The DQ tries to pacify her, but when we start moving, it ratchets up. So, no choice, out comes the tap! (covered by the hooter hider). The KP goes quiet.

And doesn't say or do anything for the rest of the flight!

Wow!

So we land in Atl at 9pm. Whew! This thing might actually work! We might make it! But the freakin Atl airport is such a clusterfudge! We taxied for-ever!!! We finally get to the gate and then wait! … "er… Sorry we're waiting on the crew to bring us in!" Come on people!!! What does the airport pay them for! This place sucks!

I nervously glance at my watch as we start to deboard… 930pm. Uh oh. Flight is at 10pm. My heart rate is now 130!

So we get off at the B terminal and have to go to the D terminal! Fudge! We're screwed. I grab out carryon baggage, and we're off to the races!

It really must have been a sight (except for the fact that Atl is crazy congested, you might not have seen us!). We're moving at top speed. Myself tugging two shoulder bags and a roller board. The DQ with the KP in a sling in front of her. Racing through the Atl airport…. "Tram?" the DQ asks. "No time!!! We've… gotta… move!!!!" Running through the underground tunnels…. The KP wide awake by now… staring… gawking at the sights whizzing by!!! She was definitely the most entertained. We made it to the C terminal…. We were huffing. Must… keep… going… The KP?? Loving it while hanging on for dear life in the sling… Finally make it to D and run up to the gate… They're boarding!!! Whew!!!

We get on the plane. Unload the KP. Sit down and bust out the Hooter-Hider! Hook the KP up and … whoosh!! We're off. Flying toward Austin. Then the KP's out… asleep! Wonderful!!! Austin here we come! The DQ's out too. Me, I'm so keyed up from the day, I can't do anything but stare into the seat in front of me.

Finally we land in Austin and its balmy 15 degree weather. The KP's out for the count. Eric picks us up and takes us home.

Ahhhh.

Day 1 in the books.