So back to the weekend... Sunday morning was very leisurely. Everyone awoke at their own pace. The grownups had coffee, Michael had breakfast and the KP had sauce! Then shower time. Then the grown up dudes went to Sears to get an oil change! (yes had to have some man time at Sears during the weekend. Did I mention it is a supporter of the BY Universe!!!)
We all regrouped at the house to gather up our stuff and head off to lunch. Another Tex-Mex restaurant! Man I love it!!!! Fajitas from the source!!!! Unfortunately, Daddy sat in the way back of the car... and got a little carsick! Damn.... Didn't puke, but just got queasy. We made it to the restaurant and ate the yummy fajitas... Yum... My stomach was still doing somersaults, but I was able to trudge on... like a trooper!
Then the airport OCD started kicking in... Flight was at 430pm... It was 1230... Tick tick tick tick. Stomach did another couple of jumps.. Then we took off... after I finished my 4th refill of diet coke (ahhh refills!).
We pull up to the airport ~130pm. I got out of the car and collected our bags. (that was my job... the DQ had the KP). I said goodbye and took off for the double doors.... Have ... to ... get... on ... the ... plane.... Then I heard the words "Uh oh" from behind me. I turn around to see the DQ holding the KP awkwardly.
"Babe, we've got to MOVE!!!" "Yes, I know, Mike, but we have a problem!"
"What?" She mouthed the word "POOP"!!!
Oh crap! "Can't we make it through security first!?!?!?" "No, Mike, I felt it leaking through when I got her out of the carseat!"
Great... The KP left a present in the car for our lovely guests. That is definitely no way to wooo a man! I'll have to talk to her about it later. Now, we have a problem. We have to find a bathroom. We enter the ticketing lobby. Nothing around. Uh oh.... tick tick tick... My heartrate is now beating through my throat!
The DQ trudges off to the side of the lobby, away from the masses. "Where are you going?!?!?" She plops down on the side of the lobby, right in the middle, near a bank of chairs for cover. "Are you seriously going to do this here?!?!?!"
Before I could get an answer, the diaper bag was out. "Guess... so" KP was placed on it. She was all smiles... damn she is cute! The DQ sets out to work on the mess. I scan the lobby to see it we're being watched. Nope, but probably all over the security cams. I turn back to the DQ, to see the clothes being ripped off. Man! Did she ever have a blow out?!?!?!? Green poop down her legs ... everywhere! She had been storing up this BM for a while.
Then the DQ fingers for the diaper tabs. "wait a second!?!? where are we going to put -?" Blammo!!! Diaper wide open and poop was everywhere!!! I mean wow!!!! Green lathers of poop all over her frontside and backside. This was a all-hands-on-deck moment. I grabbed the wipes and started wiping. Holy cow! I also took out a plastic bag to contain the biohazardous waste. Whew! It reeked too... Throughout all of this, the KP was coo-ing and passing out cuteness left and right. Sweat was running down my brow... tick..tick..tick... I mean, if there was a security camera on me, with sweat running down my face, nervously checking my watch... I would be screwed. I realized that I am getting a full cavity search for this one. Back to the cleaning of the KP's cavities.... The DQ looks up and hands me the biohazard bag, and says "Deal with this!" Whew! Oh my god... How can something so cute produce this!?!?!?!
I looked up, saw the trashcan across the lobby, and grabbed the bag. I made my way towards the can... visions of "24" through my head... if I was a terrorist, this would be one hell of a way to drop a bomb (literally... the KP figuratively dropped a big one). I throw the bag away, and run back to the DQ. She was finished putting the KP back together. Whew!
Tick tick tick
Then we get in line for our tickets.... got em
Then we get in line for security.... damn this thing is long.... tick tick tick... Sweating profusely now! "Maine we're ... not ... going ... to ... make ... it" "Calm down you silly goose!"
We get through security finally... No strip search for me. The KP was totally passing out cuteness to everyone in line. Even the screeners. Some asked how old he was.... I wasn't in the mood to correct. He's 5 months!!
Tick tick tick...
We make it to the gate. Hooray! Check the time... 3:30pm!!! "Whew!!!!" The DQ looks at me with a mixed bag of scorn and distaste... "Damn you're a spaz!" Yes, I am. But I am a spaz who is not going to miss this flight!!!
Flying was totally uneventful. The KP went through it like a breeze! She did do some early crying before takeoff, but with a quick hookup to the tap, she was all good!
We landed in Atlanta on time. (A miracle!) Since we had a long layover, we decided to get something. Where did the two young Parents of the Year go? A bar!
Ahhh yes. Daddy needed another beer. The DQ had to go find a bathroom.
So I sat down at a small table with the Pizz, watching football (just like her Daddy!)
"awww she is soo cute"
I look over to my right. Cougars! I didn't know how I missed them!!! Man, they hunt in packs!
"Yes she is ... Thank you."
"Travelling alone with her?" Gametime!!! Time for me to throw some Daddy charm!! "Why yes. She's been great, being without her mom and all!"
"Awww... what happened to her mom?" "Well, it was a sudden accident. Her mom caught Ebola while doing relief work in Africa. She was taken emergently to the CDC here in Atlanta. I had to take Kemper to see her."
"Oh my gosh! How tragic? How is she coping?" putty... I can see the digits flowing now... Score one for dads everywhere!
"She's doing great... she's a real trooper for her daddy... **sniffle, sniffle**..."
Right then, "Hey babe!" The DQ arrives and picks up the Pizz. "Did you miss Mommy?!?!?. The cougars stare quizzically. Damn, I got DQ'd!!!
"It's a MIRACLE!!!!" I stand up and hug the Maine... "She's alive!"
The cougars turn their heads in disgust... and start focusing on other prey!
The DQ- "what did you do?"
"Nothing babe....CHECK PLEASE!!!!"
And thus ends our eventful trip to Austin....
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