The Editor's Maiden Voyage on the Santa Maria!!!

So, we knew this day would come some time!!!

This AM, as we are dutifully getting the Pizz ready for daycare, the GC2.0 says to me, "Why don't you take the van today?"  **twinkle, twinkle**

Oh, come on!  I mean, you've already taken away my manhood by convincing me to drive the civic, because it was "more economical", but now?!?!?

"Um... er... um.. I feel better with you in the van.  It is much safer than the Civic!"  "Nope!  Silly, you can drive the van today!"

And, there you go!

So the Pizz and I are all bundled up as we exit the GM and enter the carport!  There she was... the Santa Maria!...  I look at the Pizz, she looks back... we're ready!  I press the button to open the side door.... whoosh!!!  The Pizz is impressed!  I plop her in the carseat and lock her in...  Press the button to close the door... whoosh!!!  That was easy!

I get in the driver's side and survey the dash.  I adjust the mirrors, slide the seat... Oh and the heater... and away we go...

So, here were the highlights of the voyage:

1.  Backup camera:  a nice plus.  Really disorienting at first.  I focused entirely on the camera, and forgot about everything else.  Probably not a good idea.

2. XM radio: ooh I forgot how cool this is.... ahhh rocking to Pearl Jam station...  The Pizz likes it!  We can switch to Top 40 at the drop of a hat.

3. Heated seats:  ***OMIGOD***  I really have no earthly idea how I drove for 35 years without these things.  Wow!  I mean, it should be against the law to overate heavy machinery without this feature.  Toasty buns are the way to go!  I mean wow!!  The downside is that I used to be able to gauge how hot the car was for the Pizz, now I have no idea... She could be a Pizz-sicle back there...  This is definitely Swaggerific!

4. Turning radius: surprisingly sharp.  I almost forgot about the big ol' backside of this behemoth! 

5. Swagger-ific: See #2.  Probably not cool to be see rocking out to Pearl Jam while driving a minivan.  Really takes away the manhood a little bit...  Chicks (those that were out in the early freezing AM hours...) didn't dig it.

6.  Ride:  definitely Swagger baby!  Cruises like a dream.  Man I can drive for hours with this thing... If only the Pizz wouldn't scream!  Oh, wait!  I have a drop down DVD!!!  It's Baby Signing Time!!!

7.  Parking:  definitely the big negative her.  This barge needs a wide wide berth to park.  Maybe even a tug boat for assistance.  I pull into the daycare, and have to pull off the road to park...  Whew!  Then when I got to the hospital, I parked and backed up like 4 times to get the thing lined up in the space.  Eh!

8.  Drop off: man those sliding doors are great.  I pick up the Pizz, her stuff, my keys, and then push a button... Whoosh!!!  Door closes...  Swagger baby!!

9. Cup holders:  Man there are like a 1000!!!  The Pizz now has one too, just for her cup.  At one point, I had 3 diet pepsi cans, my cell phone, my cell phone holster, and my pager in individual cup holders...  Swagger baby!

10. Manly quotient: definite zero.  No chickies would give the time all day!  I think I even saw one point and laugh.  Oh well.  What are you going to do?  I got the twizzles coming soon.  I imagine in about 2 years these sliding doors are going to open and kids will come pouring out!  How can that not be cool?

So after the Editor's maiden voyage on the Santa Maria, he thinks that he will be taking her out again real, real soon.... with toasty, toasty buns!

The Hoff, eat your heart out!!!