Germ Theory

So, what the heck have you guys been doing over there in BY Universe?  (Editor's Note:  As you can tell, I'm trying to tone down my obnoxious language, so Pizz the Parrot won't repeat everything I say!)

Well, we've been practicing Germ Theory.

Essentially we've been railing against the theories of cleanliness and hygiene, to see what sticks.  Sharing pacies, nipples, bottles, diapers, hands, butts, noses, sneezes, farts......  This plus the venerable petri dish that has become the Pizz!!!


Well, eventually this lovely bit of organized chaos (Editors note:  Did I mention the DQ2.0 has purchased another calendar?  Yup...  This makes 10!) was going to come crashing back to reality.

Last week, it hit!  The Index case is, of couse, the Pizz.  She comes home from daycare a-coughing and a-snotting all over the place.  Failing to "cover her mouth" with her hands (like that would do anything anyway!), the virions were spread around the GM like weeds...  It was only a matter of time...

To the Editor... the GC2.0... Mila-mila Double Deala! ... and Coco Loco- his new "Mexican Fiesta nickname!"  (Editor's note: long story.  Cliff note version: the Editor got conned into cooking dinner's on Thurs.  He ran out of options two weeks ago, and "Mexican Fiesta" was born....  Coco Loco came shortly thereafter.)

So for the past 5-7 days, we've been wallowing in our own secretions.  The Twizzles definitely have it the worst, and are still getting over it.  This has undoubtedly regressed their sleeping habits.

So, please excuse our posting tardiness, while we recover from our own snot!

Farmers market!

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Starting young

Happy Editor's Day!

Well, today was all about survival.  And Photo shoots!!!

While the Pizz was napping.

The Crew, watching Wall-E



Tired Editor!

I think we just got a call from Planned Parenthood to be their spokesmen!

Getting gussied up for Daddy's Day

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The End of the Editor's Innocence

So, well today was fun.

The Editor had sort of a bad day at work (and it is still going... on call!).  But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.  It occurs at 5pm-ish, when I get to pick up the Pizz.

It totally warms the cackles of my heart for that first moment when she sees me, screams "Daddy!", drops what she was doing, and runs-top speed (... er ...well, as top speed as those little legs can) into my arms. 

Pure awesomeness!!!

So there I was grumpy, driving down the street to the Pizz's daycare.  As I got closer, I started to pick up a little.  Yay!  It's Pizzle time.  (and to that that today is Moe's Tuesdays!  I was downright giddy as a little girl!)  I park and jump out of the car, and stride into daycare. 

Later in the afternoons, they put all the little kids in the multipurpose room prior to pickup.  There is window to the hallway, where you can peek in.  I quickly walked by it, for fear that the Pizzle would see me and start crying.  I pack up her stuff and then walk back to the window.  I peek in.

And I see the Pizz with a older man!  She's standing there, holding his hand, walking him around the room.  Kiddie chaos all around.  Hmmm... how is this dude?  Is her another father?  Humph?  We'll see if he can handle the Daddy!

I walk in.  The Pizz sees me, smiles, and then turns back to the dude and continues to walk around.  Acting coy and sheepish.  Never once trying to turn back to me or play with the other kids.  What?!?!?!  But... it's... Daddy!!

Nope.  She was busy flirting with this guy!  Seriously!!!  I could see it!  And I DID NOT LIKE IT!

My heart sank... my little Pizzle is growing up.  She doesn't love her Daddy anymore... oh no!  I was jealous.  I stood there, waiting for my moment to come...  She didn't pay me any mind...  The Dude was probably in his teens-early 20s, and must be a new afternoon worker...  The Pizz continued to walk him around the room, never once looking over at her dejected Daddy!

I was a broken man.  This is the beginning of the end! 

Finally, the Dude was like, Hey Pizz, there's your Daddy!  She finally relented and slunk over towards me.  I scooped her up and then walked out.  I didn't even allow her to give everyone goodbyes!  Nope!  Had to get her out of these negative influences!  As we left the room, she looked back over my shoulder and waved to him! 

"Et Tu Cutee'?!?"

That sound you heard was the dagger sticking into my back!


Epilogue!

So later that evening, I was telling this exact story to the GC2.0 and Truckballs at Moe's.  I didn't get like a minute into it, when the GC2.0 interrupted me and said "Are you taking about the tall hunky dude that works the afternoons there now?"  What!?!?  Is there a camera somewhere?  She was serious.

"Oh yeah, he was hunky!"

No, GC, he was tall and lanky with tattoos and facial hair... he might have had some coming out of his nose too!

"Oh no!!"  She looks over at Truckballs.  "He was hunky!"

My life is now officially over.

The Stuff that KP Says!!

Hello, BY Universe.  I was going to title this blog entry after the best selling book, and questionable TV series, "$#&!!! My Father Says" but figured the implications are too great.

You see, loyal BY Universe viewers, the Pizz is turning into a glorified parrot!  Yup.  She will repeat almost everything you say, if she feels like it.  She repeats back everything.  Unfortunately, the person she loves to repeat, at almost a 100% rate, is The Editor...

Oh No!  You might be thinking... The Editor has potty-mouth!!  Yes he does.  This must be some sort of cosmic karma inflicted on by the gods!  The Pizz does copy the GC2.0 and Merle (who I might start calling "Truckballs" in honor of her most recent adventures!!), but certainly not to the prodigious rate that she copies me.

Oh boy!

So without further ado:

• "Oh no.  What happened?"  (Usually when she drops something intentionally on the ground)
• Poo Poo.  (No apparent reason.  Not related to gas, tee-tee, or poop.)
• Potty (See above.  Really starting to bother us, since we are slowly trying to potty-train)
• "Ham-i-ton... sit!"  (Usually while standing in front of Ham... holding food)
• "Ham-i-ton... no!!!" (Usually right after, when Ham tries to eat the food from her hand)
• "Mine!" (pretty much everything.  Translates into "I want that")
• "Mila... baby"
• "Coco... brother..."  (Just another attempt at making nicknames by my part.  I think this one might stick!)
• Cake!  (uh oh... We gave Truckballs a cake for her 2-month anniversary last week, and after every dinner she asks for cake... along with making the appropriate sign!)
• "Ashes ashes!"  (She signs this when she wants you to start "Ring Around the Rosey".  She especially loves the "all fall down" part!)
• "What's that?"  (This is usually when she points and stares at something inappropriate.  Like this past weekend, she pointed to an old, wrinkled guy in a speedo at the pool.  I couldn't respond, I just turned and took her in the other direction.  She kept staring, over my shoulder.)
• "Shoes!"  (The Pizz is definitely a girl.  She loves shoes, putting them on, taking them off... somehow she always gets them on the opposite foot!)
• "Paci"  (uh oh!  She has begun to call for it by name...)
• "Baby sleeping"  (Usually right before she tries to wake up a Twizzle)
• "Cool". 
• "Down"
• "Pizza"  (Do I need to explain?)
• "Go Outside!"
• "Change Diaper"  (Just this past evening, the Pizz was crying.  The GC2.0 went in to check on her.  She said to change her diaper....)
• "It's Wet"  (Why?  Asked the GC2.0.  The Pizz pulled out her paci, and says, "Its wet!"  Sure enough it was!)
• "Daddy's car!"  (everytime I pick up the Pizz from daycare, we want outside.  She points at the Nina and says, "Daddys Car!!")
• "Shoes off!"  (pretty much without fail, everytime I drive her to or from school, she cannot stand having her shoes on.  She spends have the ride trying to take off her shoes... screaming!)
• "Daddy Help!!!"  (See above.  Pretty much anytime she wants something and can't do it herself.)
• "Its raining!"  (With appropriate sign gesture)

This list will be updated with further revelations from the Pizz!  Stay tuned.

Strollin'

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Hello Twizzles

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Sacked out!!!

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The Beginning of the Rest of Our Lives - What We've Learned So Far

Eh? You might say?

Well, the GC2.0 has returned to work, officially starting back this past Thursday.  We here in the BY Universe have been gearing up for this for a while now, but weren't sure just how things were going to go.  As this past weekend winds down, we've definitely got some work to do!

• Go figure that the real first day back (Friday) would be a bugger for all 3 adults involved.  The GC2.0 had a long, brutal day at the "office".  The Editor was trashing around in someone's right heart for 4 hours (on a Friday afternoon!), and Merle was busy with the Twizzles who really didn't want to nap!  Sheesh, only the Pizz had a good day.  (and it wasn't even a Pizza Friday!... long story)
• Event Planning has to take on a whole new level.  I mean, we need a first/second/third options...  Merle and I planned to go to the pool the whole Saturday AM to try to tire out the Pizz.  Well, we somehow made it there, but the Twizzles didn't last past an hour....  When we got back into the Santa Maria to set sail for home, we looked at the clock, thinking we spent 4 hours... Much to our chagrin, it was only 1!!!
• The Pizz is really a nonstop Cuteness-in-full-effect!  She has either no fear or no knowledge of the consequences....  She was just strutting around the pool in her swimsuit, and then just abruptly turns and walks into the water!  Thankfully, the Editor was there to catch here... but not prevent his own mild heart attack.  It also seems that even a little dunk in the water doesn't faze the Pizzle... man, I'm in trouble.
• I really think the Twizz have some sort of extreme schedule together.  Either one always acts up, but always different and random.  Man, they're crafty!!!
• Putting the Pizz in the Clean-Cuteness-Arena is a much more painful experience now.  Literally and figuratively.  She kicks and screams, twists and contorts.  I have to take a shower after the ordeal myself.
• The Twizzles are starting to pass out some cuteness of their own... even to each other!
• Pizza is actually Pizz-a!!!  I never realized it until today!!!  I should have known!!!
• The Dyson is becoming the most used appliance in this household.  It cleans very well, plus it somehow makes enough of a soothing noise to lull the Twizz to sleep.  Needless to say, the Nursery 2.0 gets vacuumed every night!
• It seems that buying all these appliances from Sears, gets up a "free upgrade" to Platinum with your next round of Sears Creditcard!  Great!
• The Twizz don't do well in parks, for over an hour!
• The Pizz loves slides!  Even the really tall, big-kid slides that she has no earthly business being on.  This makes the Editor have to climb up there with her, and then slide down them, with her... And then endure the screams (and sign) of "more, more more!!!"
• When the Pizz tells you she's "pottied", takes your hand, leads you upstairs to her room, and practically jumps on her changing table, without screaming, fussing, or squirming... please, approach with caution.  There is some thermonuclear biohazardous waste in those G-diapers...  HOLY COW!!!  I think she really tries to one-up-herself on a weekly basis.
• When the Pizz is sleeping into 8:30, and you wonder if you should wake her up.... think about the fact that the rest of the day will occur at a break-neck pace, without the midday blessing of a 2-hour nap.  (Man, if I could have this morning back!  Although, it was pretty nice...)
• Speaking of which, if you don't get a shower at the break of dawn, just forget about hygiene the rest of the day!
• Hamilton needs valium.  When he starts barking at the washing machine, thereby waking the Twizz (who you've been trying to put to sleep!), you really want to shoot him.  (Editor's Note: Not that I condone violence against dogs, or other animals for that matter.  Those damn SPCA commercials with Sarah MacLaughin just make me cry for days!)
• No more staying up late to watch TV.  Bedtime is 8:30.  (Oops, time to go to bed!!!)

The BabyYarnoz Top 10

Well, as been subject of many posts, we here at BY Universe just cannot let this one go...  Like a bad penny it keeps turning up...

So here we take another (and hopefully final) stab at it...

The BY Top 10:  Top 10 Signs That the GC2.0 Pumps Too Much

10. She starts to call the pump her "third twin".

9. She ends every conversation with the phrase "I have to go pump!"

8. The rythmic sounds of the Industrial Strength Breast Pump is better than the sleep machine.

7. The GC2.0 can just look at the equipment and have a let down.

6. During one moment this past weekend, the GC2.0 was carrying the Pizz downstairs.  The Pizz looks down, points to the GC2.0's chest, and says "Pump!!!" 

5. She develops a ritual around each event, equipped with bra-holders, iPads, pillows and beverages!

4. She is actually considering naming our fourth child Madela. (Note: odds on fourth BY are 1,000,000,000,000:1)

3. She spends more time with the pump than with The Editor!!!

2.  The Pizz, while in one of her helter-skelter maneuvers, sits down with some pumping equipment... specifically a trumpet and bottle.  She lifts up her shirt, sticks the trumpet on her belly, and starts making the shhh-shhh-shhh sound!

1.  (You knew this one was coming)  She takes out an Industrial Strength, Hospital Grade rental machine.  When she returns said machine, the lady says "Wow!  That has only happened like 2 times in my 20 years in the business!!!"

Applause.  Applause