It's a good day when everyone can hold their own bottles.

Helping the Clean Up

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Emergency Life Raft - BY Style

Here We Go!

As Irene barrels down, but hopefully around, the Wilmington area, we here in BY Universe are preparing for a party!

Oh yes!

What better way to celebrate being 2 years old, then with a Hurricane Party!!!!

I can think of no other!

Bring it Irene!

Descending into Chaos!!!: day 1 without Trucknutz

Whoa, you might be reading!!! What happened to Trucknutz??? Or in Pizzlespeak, " where did Trucknutz go???". Well we have given her the weekend off, more specifically we shipped her away to the sinful city of New Orleans. The land of running water and paper towels.

So what in tarnation did we do for our first 24hrs?

Well. Last pm we dined at Mellow for KP's favorite food. Then proceed to come home and hose off all the kizzles in the tub. Once down, I dashed off to SAMs for supplies. However, I returned to find a 4 Yarnoz' in my bed, but no one was sleeping.

Needless to say last night was a wash.

Today, was much more better. Well at least for KP and myself. DQ2.0 might have gotten screamed at... When we got home at 6, the twizz were down.

Dinner consisted of pasta and wine!!!! Hooray!!!! All to the soundtrack of Justin Timberlake on Pandora. (note: editor looooves JT... Pizz too). Next thin we knew, dinner was over, and strawberry "smoofies" were being made. Yum yum. The DQ2.0 also got in on the cooking act and made cupcakes. The Pizz tried to drink her smoofie without a straw, which worked for the first cup. The second cup wound up alllll in her lap!!!

All the while, "Sexyback" was thumpin in the GM!!!! Oh yeah... We're totally bringing sexy back.... A


So much dancing, smoofies, cupcakes, and JT... It turned into 8pm. The Pizz was practically holding her eyes open with her spoon...

A quick bath later, and now it's sleepy time for all.

Er... What's tomorrow's plan?

Twizzles: 6 months (What We've Learned...)

Wow, how times flies.

Today marks the 6 month date of the Twizzles' arrival.  Holy Cow!!!!  I am at a loss for words... not even the DQ2.0 can ghostwrite something for us.

So, now that we're 6 months in this "Foray into Insanity", what have we really learned?...

• Well, first off, the two are totally, totally different kizzles....   Uh, Mike, like duh!  But really, there are not alike in the least... different schedules, different eating, different poops... you get the picture
• Eating- wow, I have figured out two analogies:
• Mila eats like a cat.  Danty and in little chunks.  She'll eat like 2-4 ounces at one sitting, and then push the nipple away.  "I'm done"  No power on this earth can get her to take the bottle back.  When she's done, she's done!
• Coco eats like a dog.  Chows down forever.  He'll eat and eat and eat and eat.  Essentially he will eat everything until he is big and bloated and pukes everywhere.  Unbelievable.  If it wasn't for his gas and us limiting him to 2-4oz at time, he'd be attached to the bottle the whole freakin' day!
• Sleeping- man, if we finally got them on some semblance of a schedule!
• Mila does not sleep during the day.  Nope.  You have to practically drug her to go down for a nap.  Definitely not a Yarnoz, must be like her mom!  She will fight, fuss and scream bloody hell for hours until you pick her back up.  I have no idea how we get her to bed at night.
• Coco is a Yarnoz.  You can put him down in the crib at any time and he'll go to sleep.  He might fuss and squirm for a bit, but then he wiggles over to the left side of the crib, puts his left hand over his face, his right hand behind his head, and poof!  Out!
• Crying it out goes sooooo much better with liquor!  Just tonight, for example, 1 bottle of red wine down... (Mostly drank/drunk/dranken/drinked by yours truly)
• Mila will totally tell you when she doesn't like something. Coco will just whine.
• Mila has actually started to smile and giggle some.  Actually, the race for Daddy's favorite is now a three-way tie.  Mila has caught up to the pack.
• Both have started to do well in AA, but the added level of difficulty called 'Naked AA' has proven to be treacherous at some points.  (Just last week, the Editor got a long golden shower from the Dude... while in his dress/work clothes...)
• We still haven't figured out the concept of "Directional Unit Placement"
• Diaper rash is soooo much more complicated in dudes!   I mean, really, there is sooo much more surface area to lather and cream up!  Wow! 
• Teething is sizing up to be a bitch!  (KP's teething process was sooo easy...  "Poof! oh, there's a tooth!!!  Where did that come from!?"
• The Santa Maria is worth every penny.
• Ok, honestly, does Coco's head look like it belongs on a box of Keebler cookies?
• I am not sure if that Sweedish guy knew this when he invented it, but man that Dyson vacuum is a hoss!  The Nursery 2.0 gets vacuumed like 3 times a day, and the Dyson works like a champ.  Never mind the fact that the DQ2.0 tried to suck whole pieces of paper down it, causing it to gasp for a second.  Wow!  I think we should write him and let him know.  We could really be in his commercials.
• Speaking of commercials.  Again, we should volunteer for Planned Parenthood.  Everywhere we go (on tour) the looks and stares from people is amazing!  I totally want to print up shirts... ("Exasperated Mommy (on front) My Tubes were Tied (on back), "Drunk Daddy (on front), Snipped Snipped (on back)", "I'm the Nanny (on front) I'm the Nanny (on back)"
• Speaking of permanent contraception.... I/we/BY Universe is not in favor of permanent surgical means... Uh OH!!!  Just wait for BY 3.0... the Trizzles!!!!
• Wow, I need another glass of wine.
• You know it's a bad weekend when Sunday night rolls around, and you're like: "Hooray, I get to go back to work!!!"
• One of the really cool aspects of the Santa Maria (besides its totally awesome luxury ride) is the fact that when the radio gets turned up, you can't really hear anything behind you!  (er... not even the screams of the Au Pair!!!)
• Kemper had a p-p-p-purple face... Mila has a r-r-r-r-r-red face... Coco just poops!
• There is no denying what Mila is doing, when she is doing it.  (Just today, she was red for almost 30minutes, straining and pushing... ((poor girl)), so when I changed her, I was surprised to find a lima-bean sized poop tucked in her cheeks)
• Speaking of which, we have prune juice on tap!
• Best part of the nights now... sleeping straight through from 7 to 4-5 am.
• Worst part, we have so much sleep debt now, that that is still not enough!

Whew!!

In all honesty, we have absolutely no idea how we survived this long.  Everyone is doing well, and we look forward to the future

(...er... where's my wine?)

The BY Photo Shoot

... photos care of Erin Politis of CiaoBaby Photography!
Enjoy!

Doctor Pizz

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Super NakedBaby AA!!!!

Mornings in the GM will never be the same!!!!

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It's Signing Time with...

So, those of you who have been privy to the interior world of the GM and the raising of the Pizz know already how much she loves the show Signing Time.  This is probably because, aside from random snippets of ESPN and a more random adoration of the original B-Movie "Clash of the Titans," the DQ only lets the Pizz watch this one show. 

It used to be that we would start ST and the Pizz would watch a few minutes and then get distracted by something else.  By the end of the show, it was only me and the DQ sitting around watching, dutifully learning American Sign Language for things like "more" and "milk" and "shoes."  The Pizz showed not even a tiny inclination towards producing a sign of her own.

Then, just when we were about to give up, she threw us a bone.  It worked!  She started telling us she wanted to drink milk, or (our favorite) take a nap!  Hooray!

Then we would all sit around watching it on television, the Pizz still largely distractable, but since she would routinely use the signs in the videos, it was clear that something was sinking in.  Over and over again we would watch the Signing Time videos showing us kids of all ages, a cartoon frog, and one seranading adult named Rachel show us the signs for things that kids would find important: books, food, and household objects.  The Pizz's particular favorite was a session where the stars of the show backpack through the forest.   The DQ remarked that one day driving home from day care the Pizz was shouting something unintelligible repeatedly from the back seat, only to turn around and clearly see that she was doing the sign for "raccoon."

Teachers at school told us our child was a genius, if only for the mere reason that they had no idea what she was wanting or needing as she waved her little short arms around the classroom.  The teachers even borrowed some videos from us so that they could learn themselves!

Naturally, the DQ and I expanded our own ASL vocabularies with the Pizz, until it seemed like we were master ASLers.  Our child was a brilliant linguist and it was all because of us.  Well, with the help of Rachel, Alex, and Leah.

Right?  Right.

So, the DQ comes home from a long day's work yesterday, and seems flustered.  It seems that she consulted on a patient with congenital deafness, and instead of cruising through the visit, she was stumped.  Beyond saying phrases like "the hippo ran up the tree" and asking "do we need to change your diaper?," she could basically say not one useful thing.  No "Hi, how are you feeling today?" or "I am Doctor so-in-so."  Nothing.  Nada.  Rien.

I mean, give her an animal emergency, and she's all ready to say: "Where is the horsey's owie??!!"

And just like that, poof! goes our ASL swagger.

To grandmother's house we go!

We came, we saw, we conquered.... Tampa.  The air travel wasn't even that bad, really.  As long as I don't think about the days when I thought that air travel was a nice excuse for a long nap and free soda, I would rate this past weekend of travels as an A+.  Considering we had 3 adults, 3 babies, 3 carseats (oh, and remember the one suitcase!)

We had an awesome time, too.  Ita and Wowo were gracious enough to allow us to explode literally all over the building, and the primos were a big hit with the Pizz!  (If you saw their playroom you would know why!)

Lessons learned as the mother of twins: Week 1

when your boss has the record of correctly predicting the birthday of your first child, pay attention to when he schedules the start of your maternity leave for subsequent children

always be prepared.  you never know when your platelets just won’t come through for you.

never underestimate the importance of a friendly face in the operating room, even if it’s a little weird for your friend to see your innards.  at least she’ll be honest and let you know how much or little subcutaneous tissue you have.

make a conscious decision to maintain good health if you have issues with spinal anesthesia.

love your husband. after all, he did this to you, but it makes it all worthwhile if it’s his face you want to see when your blood pressure is 55/36. 

try not to ever be in a situation where you need high-dose magnesium, unless you like the idea of not being able to feel your face, speak, or tell time.

when someone asks you what your pain level is, always answer “one” -- it will save you the trouble of vomiting up narcotics with a fresh abdominal incision.

relish the time that your family can be together in the same room, because it royally stinks when they are separated.

if you have to be separated, make sure to have your staff badge to take the shortcut

have tissues at the bedside, because people know that you are going through a tough time and will want to encourage you, and it’s the pep talks will cause you to spring a leak

understand that the concept of “time” when hospitalized is dependent on two things: the seemingly rapid 12 hour shift change, and the ridiculously slow passage of days, such that your time with a favorite nurse flies by quickly but the number of days of your stay feels like an eternity.

fear the hormones.

recognize that the field of pediatric nursing and lactation consultancy is comprised of some pretty amazing and genuinely compassionate people.

make sure to have an awesome cousin in town to run your household when you may have a sudden caesarian section.  even better if you can arrange for that person to be such a good chef that your daycare teachers tell you they covet your kid’s lunches.

be satisfied with conservative management.  maybe it will get you a little bit more sleep at night.

The Devil in Pigtails!!! (This AM)

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DQ Daycare and Airlie Gardens

The Yarnoz clan hits the old Alma Mater!

This is a late entry, since we went on this trip to Durham quite a few weeks ago.  This was the inaugural trip in the Santa Maria with the full clan of Yarnoz - Daddy at the helm, the DQ ahh... "giving directions"... and Merlie leading the snoozers in the way back.

It started out great -- the Pizz and the Twizz were relatively quiet on the way there, and despite the grueling heat, we managed to show Merlie the alma mater.

And then there was lunch with Jason, Darlene, and Layla at a fine Durham dining establishment, and a brief trip to visit Karen et al.  

By this time, it was late afternoon, and the Pizz had surprised us by not taking a nap at all... and not melting down.  

And so we loaded up the Santa Maria again, and hit the road for home, smug little parents.  I distinctly remember talking smack in my head, thinking: "We are so awesome. Three kids under two and not one single meltdown!!"  

Yes, well, I know what you are thinking: famous last words, or don't throw stones at glass santa marias, or something of that nature.  Yes, we doomed ourselves for failure.

So, in case you were wondering exactly how long the Twizz and the Pizz can make it in the car, the answer is 2 hours and 5 minutes.  In case you were wondering how long it takes to return from Durham to sleepy Wilmington, the answer is 2 hours and 30 minutes.  

We have yet to quite return to sanity. 

Tellin' Time!

So, I should probably explain myself.  Sometimes, in the realm of the Editor, I post things that are well known to me, and forget that the BY Universe might have no idea what I'm talking about.

Probably happens more than I think (especially with the Hoff!)

Anyway, I posted a picture of the Twizzles in their crib that should be explained...  So without further adieu...

We have realized that you can tell what time of evening it is by the Twizzles alignment in their crib.

Exhibit A

(edited from the archives)

(Editor's note: Look how crazy small they were!)

Anyway, we put the Twizzles to bed around 7pm... then the fun happens.  When you check on them around midnight, they pretty much are at midnight position.  Then during the evening, they move.  And if one starts to cry, you stumble in at some god-forsaken hour, and you can always tell what time it is, by their position.

Mila is extremely reliable.  Almost like a Timex or Omega.  She always gets the time right.  Especially at 6am, when she's ready to get up... her head is always at the 6am position!  Amazing!

The Dude... well... um... he's sort of like one of those plastic watches you can buy from a vending machine game for a buck.  Gets the time right like twice a day.  He's all over the place, and sometimes not even in a time that is physically possible.

Exhibit B

You can tell by the perfect female Spanish-Cajun engineering that it is 4:30 -  5 o'clock in the morning.  Correct!!!  However, by quirk of the male Spanish-Cajun engineering, you think you're in Greece.  Alas...

We're still working out the kinks.