Today marks the 6 month date of the Twizzles' arrival. Holy Cow!!!! I am at a loss for words... not even the DQ2.0 can ghostwrite something for us.
So, now that we're 6 months in this "Foray into Insanity", what have we really learned?...
- Well, first off, the two are totally, totally different kizzles.... Uh, Mike, like duh! But really, there are not alike in the least... different schedules, different eating, different poops... you get the picture
- Eating- wow, I have figured out two analogies:
- Mila eats like a cat. Danty and in little chunks. She'll eat like 2-4 ounces at one sitting, and then push the nipple away. "I'm done" No power on this earth can get her to take the bottle back. When she's done, she's done!
- Coco eats like a dog. Chows down forever. He'll eat and eat and eat and eat. Essentially he will eat everything until he is big and bloated and pukes everywhere. Unbelievable. If it wasn't for his gas and us limiting him to 2-4oz at time, he'd be attached to the bottle the whole freakin' day!
- Sleeping- man, if we finally got them on some semblance of a schedule!
- Mila does not sleep during the day. Nope. You have to practically drug her to go down for a nap. Definitely not a Yarnoz, must be like her mom! She will fight, fuss and scream bloody hell for hours until you pick her back up. I have no idea how we get her to bed at night.
- Coco is a Yarnoz. You can put him down in the crib at any time and he'll go to sleep. He might fuss and squirm for a bit, but then he wiggles over to the left side of the crib, puts his left hand over his face, his right hand behind his head, and poof! Out!
- Crying it out goes sooooo much better with liquor! Just tonight, for example, 1 bottle of red wine down... (Mostly drank/drunk/dranken/drinked by yours truly)
- Mila will totally tell you when she doesn't like something. Coco will just whine.
- Mila has actually started to smile and giggle some. Actually, the race for Daddy's favorite is now a three-way tie. Mila has caught up to the pack.
- Both have started to do well in AA, but the added level of difficulty called 'Naked AA' has proven to be treacherous at some points. (Just last week, the Editor got a long golden shower from the Dude... while in his dress/work clothes...)
- We still haven't figured out the concept of "Directional Unit Placement"
- Diaper rash is soooo much more complicated in dudes! I mean, really, there is sooo much more surface area to lather and cream up! Wow!
- Teething is sizing up to be a bitch! (KP's teething process was sooo easy... "Poof! oh, there's a tooth!!! Where did that come from!?"
- The Santa Maria is worth every penny.
- Ok, honestly, does Coco's head look like it belongs on a box of Keebler cookies?
- I am not sure if that Sweedish guy knew this when he invented it, but man that Dyson vacuum is a hoss! The Nursery 2.0 gets vacuumed like 3 times a day, and the Dyson works like a champ. Never mind the fact that the DQ2.0 tried to suck whole pieces of paper down it, causing it to gasp for a second. Wow! I think we should write him and let him know. We could really be in his commercials.
- Speaking of commercials. Again, we should volunteer for Planned Parenthood. Everywhere we go (on tour) the looks and stares from people is amazing! I totally want to print up shirts... ("Exasperated Mommy (on front) My Tubes were Tied (on back), "Drunk Daddy (on front), Snipped Snipped (on back)", "I'm the Nanny (on front) I'm the Nanny (on back)"
- Speaking of permanent contraception.... I/we/BY Universe is not in favor of permanent surgical means... Uh OH!!! Just wait for BY 3.0... the Trizzles!!!!
- Wow, I need another glass of wine.
- You know it's a bad weekend when Sunday night rolls around, and you're like: "Hooray, I get to go back to work!!!"
- One of the really cool aspects of the Santa Maria (besides its totally awesome luxury ride) is the fact that when the radio gets turned up, you can't really hear anything behind you! (er... not even the screams of the Au Pair!!!)
- Kemper had a p-p-p-purple face... Mila has a r-r-r-r-r-red face... Coco just poops!
- There is no denying what Mila is doing, when she is doing it. (Just today, she was red for almost 30minutes, straining and pushing... ((poor girl)), so when I changed her, I was surprised to find a lima-bean sized poop tucked in her cheeks)
- Speaking of which, we have prune juice on tap!
- Best part of the nights now... sleeping straight through from 7 to 4-5 am.
- Worst part, we have so much sleep debt now, that that is still not enough!
In all honesty, we have absolutely no idea how we survived this long. Everyone is doing well, and we look forward to the future
(...er... where's my wine?)
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