Lessons learned as the mother of twins: Week 1

when your boss has the record of correctly predicting the birthday of your first child, pay attention to when he schedules the start of your maternity leave for subsequent children

always be prepared.  you never know when your platelets just won’t come through for you.

never underestimate the importance of a friendly face in the operating room, even if it’s a little weird for your friend to see your innards.  at least she’ll be honest and let you know how much or little subcutaneous tissue you have.

make a conscious decision to maintain good health if you have issues with spinal anesthesia.

love your husband. after all, he did this to you, but it makes it all worthwhile if it’s his face you want to see when your blood pressure is 55/36. 

try not to ever be in a situation where you need high-dose magnesium, unless you like the idea of not being able to feel your face, speak, or tell time.

when someone asks you what your pain level is, always answer “one” -- it will save you the trouble of vomiting up narcotics with a fresh abdominal incision.

relish the time that your family can be together in the same room, because it royally stinks when they are separated.

if you have to be separated, make sure to have your staff badge to take the shortcut

have tissues at the bedside, because people know that you are going through a tough time and will want to encourage you, and it’s the pep talks will cause you to spring a leak

understand that the concept of “time” when hospitalized is dependent on two things: the seemingly rapid 12 hour shift change, and the ridiculously slow passage of days, such that your time with a favorite nurse flies by quickly but the number of days of your stay feels like an eternity.

fear the hormones.

recognize that the field of pediatric nursing and lactation consultancy is comprised of some pretty amazing and genuinely compassionate people.

make sure to have an awesome cousin in town to run your household when you may have a sudden caesarian section.  even better if you can arrange for that person to be such a good chef that your daycare teachers tell you they covet your kid’s lunches.

be satisfied with conservative management.  maybe it will get you a little bit more sleep at night.