Somehow through it all, I wore one outfit... but probably should've changed... maybe a couple of times. At the end of the day, I looked at this outfit, and was pretty much aghast.
So I took a picture with my computer camera, and now it's a blog post. See the legend below.
(Editor's Note: What you won't see on this outfit is either blood or poop/poopoo/poopie. I am really not sure how I came away from this day unsoiled. It's not like KP and Twizzles didn't try to throw there best shots at me, sometimes even multiple times. I am still amazed by how much KP can produce...)
Legend (Note: not in chronological order):
1. Spittoon from the Dude
2. I wasn't sure how to assign this one, but decided on subletters instead of little circles. This is the "action shoulder"- since I am right handed, almost everything I do happens on this shoulder.
a. Pizzle snot. Seems this is where she really likes to wipe when I am carrying her.
b. Pizzle drool. Not as bad as the snot this time. Pretty tame.
c. Mila spittoon. This one almost might be classified as vomit. Maybe not. This one also occurred towards the end of the day, and almost made me change outfits. But I forged on.
3. Dude drool. The Dude's a cuddler. It also seems he likes to lay a little lower on the ol' belly, leading to mid-chest emissions.
4. Editor sweat. It seems "Degree" just ain't up to the mustard of handling KP and the Twizzles. I might have to write the company a letter. I could solicit another advertiser for the blog.
5. Dude Urine. You might be thinking to yourself. "Man, he got peed on twice! That sucks!" Well, sort of. Around 2-ish this pm, the GC2.0 notices that the Dude has a "TeeTee Esplosion!" and needs a change. Well, the Editor was up to the task. I lift him up by his cute little overalls and take him upstairs. When I laid him down on the changing table I noticed two wet stains on my shirt. "Hmm, how did that happen?" I lifted up the shirt... "TeeTee". "But 2??" Then I see. Turns out, by lifting and holding him up by his overalls, I caused extra strain and tension on his G-diaper. This, in turn, caused his Tee-Tee to be squeezed out (like wringing out a sponge) and run down each leg. Yup. Colossal G-diaper failure. Time to go up in weight class. The Dude was left out of his overalls for the rest of the day.
6. Mila urine. This was right after the Dude's esplosion, and I knew it was going to happen. She was fairly soaked in Tee-Tee, and there was nothing I could do. Good thing I hadn't changed my shirt!!!
7. Pizza sauce. Hmmm... You might be thinking... "Editor, are you a messy eater?" Why, no, I just had the pleasure of sitting next to the Pizz. "But, doesn't she loooooove Pizza!!??" Why, yes she does. But it seems, that she has started to realize the different components to pizza. She loves the cheese, crust and sauce, and pretty much doesn't care for anything else. So, she now will take a piece of pepperoni draped with cheese and sauce, eat off the cheese and throw the pepperoni overboard! My leg just got in the way.
8. Lotion. The Pizz loves her lotion. She loves to rub it in her hands and arms. She also loves to wipe it everywhere... I couldn't dodge this one.
9. Trauma to the Family Jewels!!! This occurred in the middle of one Pizz and Daddy's play. She was crawling to get off of my chest and then just sent a right high knee straight to the giblets! This one didn't leave a mark... externally. But boy, did the internal organs take a shot!!! I saw stars and, I think, lost consciousness.
10. Editor Tee-Tee. This one was daddy's fault, but occurred shortly after number 9. Sorry.
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