Lessons Learned from Date Night

So last night, the GC2.0 and I ventured forth to the land of the living....

Date Night!!!!

(A special thanks to Merle for assisting in this endeavor.)

We were so giddy to be out and about on the town, that we let our exuberance get to us. We learned the hard way some important lessons for future date nights.

1. Never order a bottle of wine, for "value purposes". This was my idea, and probably the first issue with evening. Our poor little livers have not been properly exercised in this regard. Oopsie.

2. On a very tasty menu, don't let your eyes dictate your selection, or in our case, selections. Seems the choices of crab dip, large caesar salad, fried flounder and a large plate of sushi and sashimi might sound very tasty, but can cause supreme havoc on your innards.

3. Don't feel obligated to eat everything you order. This is purely my fault; one of my deep seated personality flaws. I cannot waste money/food. A sidebar flaw to this is my love of the free refill. When the GC2.0 wisely put down her fork, the ol' Editor was there to clean up the plates!!! Man, I can't do that anymore.

4. Large sushi plates might be tasty, but could be really painful. All that combination of rice, wine and water caused a huge reaction in my stomach. Mainly the dang rice just kept expanding and expanding. When we finally got up from the table, I think I looked 4 months pregnant.

5. Never try to finish off a bottle of wine by yourself. See #3 for my reasons. But when the GC2.0 backed off the vino, guess who was there to pick up the slack. Yup, the 4-month pregnant dude. This evening wasn't going to end well.

6. Never try to improve your situation with coffee and desert. So after about 1 hour of this date night, the tipsy 4-month pregnant dude realized the error of his ways. But how could he remedy this situation. With more food and coffee!!! Of course. Food to absorb the booze and coffee to sober me up!!! Sounds excellent!!!

7. Don't let the hot MILF order the desert. Yup the jumbo 11-layer chocolate cake might sound amazing, but when she only eats 2 bits of it, guess who's getting stuck with the extra. See #3&5.

8. Don't let the waiter convince you to get a sampler of another desert. Damn Key Lime Pie!!!! It's my kryptonite.

9. Plan your evening better around pumping sessions. This one sounds horrible. I'll let the readers infer. But basically there were only 2 other things that were under more pressure than my stomach.

10. A 4-month pregnant drunk dude is not a sexy camper. Let this visual imagery be a lesson to you all.

Enjoy!!!