The GC Gets a New Name, and Other Random, Useless Week 1 Musings from a Mildly Deranged, Sleep-Deprived Daddy

Whew, week 1 in the books! Fun stuff.

So we have collectively known Charmaine as the GolfCart for months now. I think I came to the realization while still in the hospital that her nickname would not suffice anymore. I was at a loss. I couldn't go back to calling her Charmaine. No. We needed something more BY-ish. So I racked my brain for hours... nothing. A day went by... no new nickname. How could I go on with the blog without a new name? I didn't know. I was in trouble, and I knew it. Then, like usually happens with me, stuff falls from the sky. Or in our case, the Maine's milk came in!!! Hoooorrraaaay!!! And then it dawned on me! Her new nickname was crystal clear. It had to be. No denying it now. The DairyCart! DC for short!

Here are some other random tidbits of useless knowledge:

• Man, it has been an interesting week. No complaints. The DC's mom came in for the week, and instantly came to our aid. We were so dead on Sat, I don't think we would have been able to eat. That weekend LaLa made some sumptuous feasts, including filets and baked chicken. Later, during the week she made red beans, pasta, and a roux. Whew, thank goodness!


• KP makes some awesome faces. Cutest things in the world. Many of you had probably checked them out in the Snapfish album. What I don't understand is why do these faces always come before she gives us something not-so-cute in her britches? Why? Her most recent face was "Damn Daddy, my belly hurts and I got to drop some trow in my diapers" smirk that was to die for. Almost did after smelling her little present seconds later.


• KP's sounds are so cute too. In person. Somehow the babymonitor takes every sound she makes and distorts it into something hideous. Gasp! Did she just throw up and then aspirate all of her milk?!?!? We run into to check her... nope, just a sigh. Oh my god! Did she just gnaw off her arm?!! We bolt in to find her peacefully asleep. Then we decided to use the voice activated feature... whew! I sleep so much better.


• Also our babymonitor does some hideous noices at completely random intervals. Sort of like interference from cellphones or something. This usually happens at like 2-3am, jolting us out of whatever sleep we were in. I almost want to throw it against the wall... but relent.


• Ham's getting better with the baby. His world has totally gotten thrown upside down. He has definitely gotten moved down a peg. He tries to get it back though. When KP cries, Ham cries. He nuzzles. He tries to be cuter than before. Sort of works. But he won't become #1 until he can get me a beer from the beverage fridge.


• We had our first BY fieldtrip. For lunch. I bet you BY viewers can't guess where. The DC, LaLa, KP, and I went to .... you guessed it... Moe's for lunch. Great stuff. She was out the whole time. She likes the carseat.


• We are starting to notice little tendencies with the KP. Little nuances. She doesn't like the full burrito... she needs her arms free. She waves them all over. The best are her sleeping poses, which I have tried to capture. She totally looks like she is posing for a camera.


• Sometimes, in the middle of the night, she arouses and starts crying. Usually its a dirty diaper. I go in, change it, and then try to rock her to sleep. This usually succeeds in causing me to fall asleep too. Once I woke up to the KP sucking on my nose. Interesting. She didn't like it very much.


• The DC took KP to downtown Wilmington with LaLa and Morgan (who came in for the weekend). She loved the stroller. I met them for lunch, which she somehow tolerated as well. Slowly we're making our way outside. Still, however, under the 2-3h limit. We won't breastfeed in public. Ew!


• Speaking of which, I don't know if I could ever get used to the DC just whipping it out in a restaurant for the KP. Nope. Never. Get a room!


• The DC has been great! She has definitely taken to the motherhood like a champ. She's amazing. Nonstop. She's even got the cleaning bug back. Yay!!! Also, turns out that the hands-free feature on the Madonna breastpump comes in pretty handy around our house.


• Now that LaLa has left us today, we're slowly coming to the realization that we're running the ship here. Scary stuff. She was great all week, although we were probably very boring. Come back, LaLa!


• Oh, I got KP's birth certificate from the Register of Deeds here. It actually took like 8minutes to get, and 4 of them were for parking. I was amazed. But then, when I looked at the document, I realized why. It lookes like it was freaking produced from a home computer and a desktop laser printer. No fancy print. No elegant embossing. No multicolors. Just a green piece of paper and black text. I mean ... damn! At least give me some photoshop action! Nope. Small town living.


• Finally her cord fell off. The last remnant of her womb-living. Gone. Yay! It wasn't as exciting as I had hoped. I was expecting something like the Tooth Fairy to present us with a gift. Or some Muzak or angels or something. Nope, damn thing just came off with a changing. Bloop, there it is! Oh, kinda gross. There's still a little scab remaining too. Where's the cute little belly button? And I still can't take her in a bath! Damn nature!


• Why does everything smell like Desitin now? Seriously... It's everywhere!


• Someone should have taken a video of when we tried to put this stuff on. Oh gosh! It was so thick. Poor KP's tucus looked all glistened and white when we were done spreading it on. It was like thick icing. Everywhere.


• Changing KP is an adventure. Sometimes she starts kicking before I can grab her legs.... ugh... ankle in poop... damn...


• How does poop get behind the knee? Seriously?!?


• I haven't gotten peed on yet. Still waiting. But I have the new diaper on the ready.
  
• I do hate her new 'bait and switch' tactic. She gets fussy, and gets checked. Oh, green stripe... time to change. She gets changed. I sit her up and then she looks at me, scrunches up her face, and lets out a load in the fresh diaper! Damn!


• I can't tell whats worse: hearing the sound of a freshly laid diaper present or feeling it hit the diaper with your forearm.


• The best time for KP watching is after feeding. The DC calls it "Drunk on the Sauce!". She literally passes out with no body control at all. She's putty. Once the DC skipped around the house afterwards... she was sooo proud. I agreed.

Well that's all I got for now. Can't wait for week 2.